


Calling Kirchstein

by TheSparksofMagic



Series: The Great Texting Debacle [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunk Texting, Humour, M/M, Mentions of blood and gore, Piercings, Recreational Drug Use, Tattoos, Texting, Written in Texting format, someone put your number in my phone and who exactly are you??? au, texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:04:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4091584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSparksofMagic/pseuds/TheSparksofMagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jean has a stranger's number put into his phone and things get uncomfortable really quickly.</p>
<p>"<b>dude there is a half naked pic of you on my phone i need to put a name to chest other than <3 which is what your number was listed under<br/>i dont really care i was just amazed by the infestation of the freckles</b></p>
<p>My name is Marco<br/>I'm actually going to kill Sasha</p>
<p><b>its cool /Marco/ ill do connie in<br/>soooo Freckles why is sasha so interested in your social life then</b>"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, hi! This is my first Not-Hetalia fic, so if my characterisation is off, please feel free to yell at me. Lots of this is based off my life, but without the gay. However much I wish that there was more gay in my life.  
> And yes, this is entirely written in texting format.

**hey this number was put in my phone last night and i'm really hoping you're that cute mikasa chick from survey last night because i dont really remember how this got here**

Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not Mikasa. However I am really confused - why did someone give you my number??  
Wait I just realised, they probably just typed the number wrong

**i dunno man but maybe someone decided to prank you  
** **maybe we have a mutual friend or something**  
**do you know connie springer or eren jaeger**

No... but some of my friends did go out clubbing to the centre of Trost last night so it's not completely impossible

**who maybe i met them theres a total of like two clubs in this fucking place**

Sasha Braus, Annie Leonhardt and Christa Lenz

**sasha? crazy brown haired chick that downs shots like a fucking fish and doesnt stop talking? with a scary blonde chick who doesnt talk much and a cute blonde short goddess**

Yeah! That must be them :) small world huh

**connie met this girl called sasha and challenged her to a drinking game and she was the first one to ever beat him**  
**dude this is so weird i think that connie and your mate sasha are soulmates they're both loud and crazy**  
**yep i bet you anything it was them two**

Sounds like something Sasha would do... She's far too involved in my social life  
She thinks I'm turning into a study hermit

**might be surprising to you but my friends think i am too  
** **its why i was at survey**  
**got dragged out to have some fun and get laid**  
**didnt in the end anyway since mikasa left with eren**  
**i had kinda hoped shed taken pity on me and given me her number**

Apparently not eh

**ooooh mystery texter is gettin saaaaassy**

I'm really not  
According to Sasha, she met three guys at Survey last night and you were all smashed but I'm guessing you're John since you mentioned Eren and Connie

**wait youre working out who i am  
** **damn you are one creepy motherfucker**  
**fuck no im not john**  
**but yeah detective (chick? or are you a dude i cant tell) i am /jean/ pls tell sasha she is a bitch and she shouldnt spill stuff about strangers**

She says that you told her everything about yourself anyway ;)  
Detective *dude* thanks

**woah and here i thought i was talking to a girl the whole time  
and maybe i talk when im drunk so what**

It's fine! Why did you think I was a girl?

**your grammar is perfect except for full stops i only know girls who text correctly  
plus you talked about having girl friends out to town i dont know i just assumed you were a chick too**

Now you, kind of, know a guy who does too. Plus you seriously text weird as well, everything is spelt right but you have no punctuation anywhere what is that???

**im german im paranoid okay i never think im spelling shit right plus english grammar is weird so if i include none it isnt wrong  
** **also /man/ and here i thought i might be able to get in with a hot chick**  
**are you sure you arent because i never got laid and i am a thirsty shit**

<incoming file: 296479.jpg>  
<incoming file: 275368.jpg>  
See? I'm definitely a guy. No girl bits here.   
You're German?? Sasha did not mention this...

**okay im just going to throw this out there but those are still loading and i better not be getting dick pics dude  
** **i do not want to deal with a strangers dick pics**  
**yeah so what plus i dont have an accent been ive been here too long now like 7 years maybe**

NO OH JESUS NO I did NOT send you pick pics OH GOD why would you even think that  
Riiiiiight of course you don't  
Waaaait you wouldn't do that to a 'stranger's' dick pics? Does that imply that you would do that if the guy wasn't a stranger  
Shit that sounded far too suggestive, I did not mean that to sound like a come-on

**dude did you just swear woah i thought that you were some kind of weird prude**

Why of everything I just texted did you only pick up on that?

**i didnt know how to reply to the rest  
** **but dont panic over the suggestive thing i say stupid shit all the time**  
**oh hey they loa**

Um? You didn't finish?

**oh right yeah sorry dont worry im fine just had to do something a sec  
** **yes i can see that you are definitely not a chick with that picture of your BARE CHEST**  
**but dude how many freckles do you have oh my god**  
**you have freckles on your...**  
**how good is your fucking camera**  
**jesus i cant believe im saying (texting?) this this is a weird thing and i have seen some weird shit**  
**you have a freckle on your fucking nipple**

How did you think I was going to show you I wasn't a girl (if not by dick pics ;D)  
And yeah I have a few freckles on my chest

**a few???? that is an army of freckles my man  
** **i assume you are covered in them**  
**fuck dude you do realise you have a huge problem right you just took a half naked pic of yourself and sent it to a stranger**

Well i may have asked Sasha if she gave my number to anyone and she said that she and her new 'friend' were swapping a bunch of people's numbers. She definitely gave a Jean my number and you said your name was Jean sooooooo yeah. I'm not that creepy really  
I really don't know what possessed me to do that to be honest. I think I'm just over-tired  
And so what if I am a tad covered in freckles

**dude there is a half naked pic of you on my phone i need to put a name to chest other than <3 which is what your number was listed under  
i dont really care i was just amazed by the infestation of the freckles**

My name is Marco  
I'm actually going to kill Sasha

**its cool /Marco/ ill do connie in  
soooo Freckles why is sasha so interested in your social life then**

Why are you interested?

**im curious so sue me**

I don't know? She's just nosy mostly. I think she wants me to have more friends

**dude i can feel the lies/half truths**

Oh god do you really want to know??

**come on Freckles spill it you could easily find me through this sasha and then connie so its not like im some creepy pervert like you could be since i dont actually know if anything youve said is true you couldve been stalking me and told me things that happen to make sense**

You think too much, do you know that?

**i have been told  
now spill**

Oh god please don't take this badly...  
I'm gay okay?   
Sasha is trying to set us up  
She got a "vibe" from you and thought we could, you know...

**right yeah i get it  
** **okay then**  
**really?**

Yep. Really.

**huh  
i guess thats why you type so well**

oi mr stereotype i can write like sum wannabe gansta if i wanna u no  
i aint sum prissy camped up glitter bomb twink

**now thats one i havent heard before  
glitter bomb twink eh??? im fucking dying over here**

You know the type I mean

**oh yeaaaah i know the type  
well i can say you certainly arent a twink let me tell you i dont have the abs you have and i go to the gym like 3 times a week**

You say that as if you think I wouldn't do that  
I go climbing actually and do gym stuff once a week

**riiiiiiiiiight i forgot plenty of sweaty muscly guys panting and shit**

That's not the only reason! I want to stay fit!

**but you dont deny it**

No...

**called it**

There are always half naked guy preening and flexing what do you expect, it's like a waking wet dream

**okay there Thirsty Freckles calm down**

Sorry if I made you awkward  
I sort of forgot that I don't actually know you  
We've been texting for a while

**like two hours jesus  
do you want to know a secret**

Wait what?

**a secret  
** **like something i havent told many people**  
**and that i can tell you because i dont know you and i most likely wont ever and i need to tell someone**

Yes?  
A bit random but okay

**im fine with guys nailing guys  
** **to the point at which id be okay joining in**  
**do you get me**

Did you just come out to me

**um yes  
** **dont get me wrong i fucking love girls but damn guys man**  
**fucking hot but im not sure i would date them though i think i prefer girls in the mushy gushy flowers and hearts type way**  
**well this is fun**

I'd say that yeah

**your mate sashas gaydar is on point though its what she wanted right**

Tell me about it   
However her taste in guys for me is usually not the best

**how**

Normally I can't stand them  
Either they're too nice, or gorgeous but I don't like their personality, or I just don't really find them attractive and then they get pissy when I won't put out and they dump me without a proper explanation

**still hung up on that last one then**

Yep he chucked me a few months ago

**ah so you havent done the do since then and now this sasha is fed up with your sexual frustration and is trying to get you laid**

Got it in one, prize for you, Mr Jean  
Hey that rhymed  
Jean sounds more French than German though...?

**my grandmother was french im named after her dad**

of course you are

**oi stop laughing  
anyway Freckles how can someone be too nice**

I like my boys with bite

**do you like them biting literally or...? ;)**

That depends you pervy weirdo, I just meant that I tend to go for arseholes  
Call it a personality flaw

**you like the bad boys eh  
** **plus again you never said no to biting**  
**piercings and tattoos and punk ass attitudes with a side of leather jackets and motorbikes**

Pretty much and no I really do not want to explain that right now   
Is this creepy? I sound creepy in my head

**not really dude chill  
i like the good girls though but the ones with hidden sarcastic witty depths and preferably a preference for kinky shit**

Nope I've decided, you are far creepier than I am, why you thought I'd need to know that I don't know

**well im a kinky motherfucker maybe i like explaining my sexual exploits**

plEASE STOP

**okay fine  
** **i have to go out now**  
**bye Freckles**

Goodbye Jean  
Do you want to talk again some time

**you know what Freckles  
i think id like that**

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this chapter contains mentions of gore and blood. Connections to canon people, call the need for them a personality fault.

**heeeeeeeey Freckles i need distracting from the evils of chemistry help**

****School work?

**got it in one Freckles  
** **ive been at it for hours i need a break distract me but please dont mention school work unless its about burning it**

****Please don't burn your work Jean!

**what did i say dude honestly you cant trust anyone can you  
** **and i worked far too hard on that shit too burn it hell no**

Oops? Sorry!

**just ramble at me or something i cant deal with facebook at the moment  
** **like talk about your weekend or your latest porn marathon i dont know anything**

I think I'll avoid the porn marathon but wow, am I a second choice since the internet can't keep you entertained? Cruel!

**people mention school on there youre actually the first person i came too**

Flattered, I'm sure  
But anyway talking  
Okay, so do you want to know how I nearly died a few months ago?

**WHAT THE FUCK FRECKLES**

I'm fine, don't worry! I was bouldering (rock climbing without ropes, so rather than going high up you climb up serious overhangs and sometimes you even end up upside down) and I may have got into a competition with some crazy strong girl who was showing off by climbing using only her arms. She did a trail, I did the same trail, she did a harder one, I did an even harder one, then I may have fallen off the highest point on the hardest trail and landed on my head  
The girl did call the medical people after she stopped laughing  
Apparently my flailing was quite funny 

**damn what a bitch  
** **dude how did you not die/nearly die but not or whatever?**  

Well I had a really bad concussion  
Do you want to know the gory details? 

**im cool with gore yeah**  

The doctors had to drain out blood from my brain basically, and something got infected so that had to be dealt with by draining pus or some horrible thing  
The scarring on the side of my head is pretty gruesome, since something went wrong in the op and they sliced my face open, but clearly it worked since I'm fine now  
I didn't really want to know what happened 

**damn dude so have you been climbing since then**  

Yep, after the doctors gave me the all clear  
I go twice a week 

**that explains the abs then**  

you are definitely jealous of the abs  
I've got to admit most of it does come from being able to hang upside down on plastic walls by my fingertips 

**yeaaah i am very jealous of the abs but definitely less jealous of the scars  
** **i briefly considered taking up climbing when you said it but nah i am far too lazy for that shit i can only just about manage to get to the** **gym and i live about 5 minutes away from it**  

I cycle to the Walls, it takes about 15 minutes

**where is this place ive never seen it**  

It's called The Garrison, in the middle of the big industrial sites on the outskirts of Trost 

**tell me what its like in there**  

okay okay Mr I-Don't-Want-To-Do-My-Work  
So there's the big bouldering area imaginatively called the Boulders, but the regular climbers call the walls the Titans. Then there are three sets of roped wall sections. Maria's the easiest, for beginners or wimps or for newbies warming up. Rose is for intermediate climbers or for warm ups for those using the Sina walls. Those are 'expert' walls, or for showing off to potential newbies.

**so which do you climb**  

Sina usually if I'm with a partner, but I tend to stick to the Titans. Sina's are the walls designed to look like actual cliff faces, so they don't have weirdly shaped hand/foot holds, just cracks and ledges. They go the highest up as well. 

**the real question is are you doing it because you like the challenge or do you show off**  

I would say that I get bored on Rose walls but, yeah, I show off sometimes, when asked. Like I said, I tend to boulder more than use the ropes 

**whats it like**  

How do you mean? 

**whats it like being upside down holding on by your fingertips**  

Terrifying, yet completely exhilarating and utterly exhausting  
All your muscles burn and ache but you have to hold on, or you'll fall  
It's like standing on the very edge of the sea's surf, and diving in without a tank or anything, just holding your breath 

**deep shit man**  

I try 

**im sure you hipster you**  

I am /not/ a hipster 

**i bet you are as well**  

Nah I'm far too mainstream to be hipster  
You? 

**hipster pastel-y shit? hell no  
** **im punk rock all the way Freckles  
** **and dont think i believe your im-not-a-hipster bullshit**  

Suuuuuuure you are  
I really am not 

**i so am a punk try me**  

Leather jacket? 

**yep ripped and all**  

Piercings? 

**8 but i dont wear them all at once usually**  

Where though? 

**not telling you have to guess**  

In your ear? 

**yeah 2 in the right**  

Eyebrow? 

**youre good at this**  

Thanks! I don't really want to guess anywhere stupid thats all 

**i have them in stupid places its fine  
** **maybe youll give me ideas for a new one**  

Do you have a nose piercing?? 

**nooooo i do not you lose your title of good at guessing piercing places**  

Awwh I liked my title 

**guess another right then**  

Urrrrgh lip? 

**you have regained your title**  

Hella yeaaaaaaah 

**do you have any**  

Piercings? I have one  
See, I am so not a prude 

**jesus really after all your gushing about mine  
** **wheres yours**  

Not telling 

**cruel man bet its somewhere boring like your ear**  

Nope. Far more fun than that 

**dick? thatd be more fun**  

No 

**urgh screw this Freckles i dont care  
** **one piercing does not make you not-hipster by the way**  

I have a tattoo as well 

**oh because they're not hipster either i bet its like stars or something  
** **but seriously dude of what? im curious  
** **also where? its not on your chest i know this much**  

Would it be cruel to make you guess for both? ;) It's not stars though 

**oh you fucking son of a bitch  
** **you have no God  
** **you are no Freckled Jesus let me tell you**  

I take that as a yes then

**yes it would be fucking cruel tattoo can be fucking anything!!!!!!! Except stars obviously...**  

I could tell you what but since you won't spill about yourself I won't tell where mine is 

**fine deal whatever just tell me arsehole**  

It's one of those ones that look like twists and curves, in all black, sort of tribal-y. They're supposed to look like flames 

**i think i know the sort you mean yeah  
** **my curiousity is sated for now Freckles you can chill now**  

I'm glad  
Are you satisfied with my random talking yet 

**yep youve distracted me very well thanks  
** **i still feel the urge to burn shit but i think i can think of the word chemistry without feeling the need to fucking die now**  

Go blow some chemicals up then. Best of both worlds 

**please dont say that my old roommate was obsessed with hannah montana and i never want to hear that song ever again ever  
** **and i cant blow things up in my room again i only repainted like a week ago**  

Oh my God, I remember my sister being a crazy fan, so I will be nice and not say best of both worlds again  
Wait, again?! What did you blow up the first time? 

**fucking arsehole  
** **the third time actually**  

Oh, my bad, the *rest* of the times? 

**the first was putting rubidium in water which was messy, then i blew up a hydrogen balloon which nearly but didnt quite set off the fire** **alarms (no smoke so i got away with it) and hey im looking up at my ceiling and i can still see the burn marks huh  
** **the one last week was a cornflour bomb**  

I think I'm going to regret asking but what's a cornflour bomb? 

**paint can with candle inside but with lid put back on, small hole in the side with a tube through it, tube is filled with** **cornflour/flour/something with goes boom, blow into tube and watch the explosion occur  
** **youtube it**  

I'll do that now  
JESUS JEAN YOU COULD'VE BLOWN YOUR FACE OFF

**no shit sherlock its a big ass flame but fuck is it fun  
** **aaaaaaaaand i didnt blow my face off so im good**  

You are secretly a huge nerd aren't you 

**nah no nope no way hell no  
** **maybe about explosions**  

I bet you could tell me every tiny sciencey detail behind the cornflour experiment 

**so what  
** **im not thick duh**  

Never said you were Jean, never said you were 

**fuck off Freckles you have flames tattooed on your ass**  

And that was so off the wall and so wrong that I'm confused on multiple fronts  
They aren't literally flames, nor are they on my ass, plus how was that a comeback? 

**i seriously have no clue, pluuuuuuuuuuus ha now i know two places that your tattoo isnt on**  

Woooooow okay, sneaky, you got me good there 

**ill get it out of you yet do not doubt me Freckles**  

I'm really not which is half the problem  
Also damn I am really hungry 

**why did you have to say that now i am too**  

I want banana on toast 

**what the actual fuck is banana on toast**  

Exactly what it sounds like, you cook it like you would cheese on toast. you know, mushed banana on bread, put under grill, wait until it starts bubbling then remove and eat. 

**i think ill stick to pizza thanks that sounds... weird**  

Your loss because it's damn delicious mmmmmmmmmm hot fresh food all ready in like 5 minutes. 

**i could cook if i wanted**  

Yeah right, you do chemistry, I bet you just try to change the recipe all the time and it ends up burning 

**no i can actually cook im just a lazy motherfucker**  

I'll believe it when I see it  
Oh look my bananaontoast is ready for me now I can eat now, and you still have to wait. 

**dude i ordered the pizza when you said you were hungry that was what 10 minutes ago itll be here in the same again**  

And I'll be finished by then and already breaking out the ice-cream 

**what planet do you live on**  

One in which it's half nine in the evening and I'm starving and have very little in my fridge that's edible 

**i meant that why are you arguing against me buying pizza its pizza dude pizza is life**  

You were taking the piss out of my food 

**i so was not**  

I bet you were laughing at me out loud 

**maybe slightly**

See I'm magic

**the psychic half of magic maybe**

Screw you Jean

**verpiss dich sommersprossen  
** **that doesnt quite work in german**  

Sommersprossen?? 

**freckles it means freckles**  

Oh! That's so cute... Summer whats? 

**sprouts i dont even know okay we have a weird mashy language**  

I love it  
Could you teach me? 

**um if you want but im not sure id be a good teacher or anything  
** **not now either bECAUSE PIZZA**  

You go enjoy your pizza Jean  
I should do some work anyway so I guess I'll say good night 

**gute nacht sommersprossen**  

Night! 

**still not convinced youre not a hipster i will prove it mark my words**

 


	3. Chapter 3

**do you know if sasha is actually dating connie or not because i was introduced to her properly a few hours ago and i do not understand** **their relationship at all  
** ****im serious what is up there they seem more like friends than dates but fucking hell the innuendos** **

Oh right, you don't know  
Sasha doesn't do romance but she definitely does sex, so she wants her partners to basically be friends with benefits but without sharing  
Apparently it's called being aromantic

****huh cool  
** ** ****i am definitely not aromantic mushy shit is the best** **

You a cuddler huh

****pretty much Freckles  
** ** ****cuddles are fucking awesome** **

Yeah I'll agree with you there

******especiagty 3lp3o4rstdfcgvbkh n.knlpol;'  
** ****uwien f  
** ** ******jk9oollllllllllllll**

What the fuck?? 

******sorry i dropped my phone  
** ****then eren nicked it  
** ** ******so i wrestled it off him**

Oh okay  
Can I be nosy and ask why he's there or do you room together

****we share a dorm at the uni** **

Makes sense  
I live with 2 other guys plus Annie

****sounds good to me** **

It's chaos, I adore it  
Sorry, I have to go, I need to go to work

****kay bye Freckles go earn money** **

Auf wiedersehen!

****tchuss** **

 

 

I'm back and bored so it's your turn to talk aimlessly  
Hey Jean? You there?  
Jeannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn  
I'm booooooooooored Jean and now I have no-one to talk to honestly  
Lalalalalalalalala lala laaaaaaa  
*swings feet like a small child*

****sorry was in the shower  
** ** ****dude how desperate do you sound** **

Sorry! I didn't think and you seem to usually reply instantly and yeah okay then... I was starting to think you were attached to your phone

**i am basically it has google so yeah  
** **what do you want me to talk about**

Don't give a damn I'm just bored, I just spent the last 4 hours stacking shelves

****where do you work?** **

Trost Books

****exciting in there** **

Thrilling

****im sure it is Freckles im sure it is  
** ** ****i have no job i am poor** **

Sure you're poor  
I bet you get money sent to you or something

******kind of but not quite  
** ****i get rent paid but everything else i pay for with my meagre savings  
** ** ******hence pizza since its cheap**

Are you a fan of ramen by any chance

****why Freckles how ever did you guess** **

I swear it's literally the uni student staple food

****i agree man i dont think i know anyone who hasnt eaten ramen at some point** **

I know multiple that hate the stuff but eat it all the time. Same with pot noodles

****do you eat marshmallows** **

OH HELL YEAH I EAT MARSHMALLOWS  
Especially when they're covered in chocolate and those little bits of dried coconut like mmmmmmmmmmmmm heaven on fucking earth

****i like them between chocolate biscuits** **

S'mores? Oh yeah they are good

****is that what theyre called huh i did not know that** **

You learnt something today be proud!

****i did do educational stuff today  
** ** ****the evils of chemistry** **

Ah but you love it really  
Blown anything up yet?

****surprisingly not but its early evening yet  
** ** ****what time even is it god** **

Um, I don't know, sometime after 8

****oh right thanks  
** ** ****you have a weird ass shift time you know that right** **

Tell me about it, honestly. It pays alright though, I think they feel sorry for giving me the most irritating part time hours possible

****theyre like 3 til 7 what?????  
** ** ****how is a bookshop even open then???** **

They have a late opening on Mondays and Thursdays, not entirely sure why but they do. So I work during the 'extra opening hours'

****makes sense  
** ** ****so you only work mondays and thursdays?** **

No, I work as a cashier at a petrol station on Tuesday evenings  
I'm a fairly large guy so apparently I look intimidating enough to not be pushed around

****how tall are you** **

I don't actually know? I'm going to check

******how  
** ****do you have a tape measure on hand or something  
** ** ******i didnt need to know an exact measurement you know just an ish**

I'm curious for myself but um I'm just under 6 foot I think  
I'll get Bert to measure me he's around here somewhere I'm sure

****youre not a huge monster creature then** **

Nope! I'm not a skinny weed though

****shit brick house are you Freckles** **

I'm... Not a runt no  
also I'm 5 foot 10, 178 cm

****huh cool im about 5 8 ish  
** ** ****eeeeeeh dont be modest i bet your muscles are fucking solid i mean your abs are totally defined** **

I'm slightly worried and really flattered about the number of times you've brought up my abs in conversation and we've only had about 4  
And well the rest are okay

******you modest modest creature you  
** ******oi fuck off weve established that im jealous so go away and die in a hole  
** ****we should have more conversations i like talking to you  
** ** ******im really surprised that we still are to be honest we had a weird start**

No I'm good thanks I quite enjoy not being dead  
But it's not the weirdest not-meeting I've ever had with someone

****really?? what was the weirdest then** **

I think crashing my bike into a sheep in the middle of a field and the farmer's friend having to take me to hospital because I'd broken my wrist and was in the middle of no-where since they lived on a /farm/ counts for being a weird meeting

****who the fuck is that nice man id call an ambulance or something  
** ** ****also farmer's friend? not wife or husband or whatever** **

Hanji Zoe apparently, they're a tad bizarre. They seem to platonically live together so whatever

****they?** **

I couldn't tell what gender and they didn't care to divulge it

****huh okay then  
** ** ****youre friends now i take it** **

Sort of?? They're about 15 years older and handily, used to be a History lecturer which is what I study, so they help with my work as well as supplying me which homemade beer  
Though now they do biological experiments in the farmer's barn that I really couldn't care to ask about

****damn i want a ready made essay checker and booze provider** **

Crash your bike into a sheep owned by a mad scientist, it worked for me

****well your case was a special one** **

Clearly. The various types of vodka are good too, especially the chilli ones

****chilli vodka???? sounds lethal but awesome** **

The alcohol content isn't that high in it but the scotch bonnets do enough to make most people wince :D

****scotch bonnets are devils chillis** **

Oh but they make a good vodka shot

****i can imagine somehow** **

I wouldn't recommend trying anymore than a shot glass full as they are a pretty lethal assault on the tongue if you drink anymore than that

****theyre a lethal assault with a tiny nibble i wouldnt touch a shot glass full with a pole  
** ** ****unless i was very very very drunk already and wouldnt remember in the morning** **

Hanji sells the stuff at a market somewhere or other, I'll ask her next time I see her and tell you

****thanks for encouraging me to burn my taste buds off** **

Pleasure, Jean, now go get wasted

****your support is noted Freckles** **

I will always support any ridiculous drinking experiences as long as I don't have to take part and embarrass myself

****but its fine if everyone else embarrasses themselves** **

Yeah of course that's half the fun of going drinking

****whats the other half then** **

The drinking half, duh

****why would i have thought anything else** **

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh Jean **  
**Although I guess that the hangovers pretty much sum up everything horrible about drinking

****agree with you there owww it hurts just thinking about them** **

Just imagine a black coffee and bacon sandwich on the side, you'll feel better I promise

****yes thats definitely going to work mr Freckled psych  
** ** ****do you have a facebook by the way** **

Of course! I'll add you. What's your surname?

****Kirchstein whats yours** **

Bodt

****like... butt** **

No like Bodt

****no like butt ha your name is marco butt** **

And here I was starting to think that you thought my name was Freckles

******Freckles Butt  
** ****omg freckled butt i bet you have a freckled butt  
** ** ******do you?**

You know what, I don't actually know and this time I'm not getting Bert to help me with your weird curiousities, he's already confused enough

****look in a mirror then** **

WHy do you want to know??!!?

****im trying to work out what you look like** **

That's... not creepy at all

****oh fuck off i bet youre doing the same about me and you dont even have the curiousity creator of only having a small snapshot** **

No I'm not **  
**(and yes I do have freckles on my butt honestly the things I'm doing for a mostly stranger)

******awesome  
** ****hey i had an idea ill make you curious see  
** ** ******< incoming file: 157829.jpg>**

Um Jean that is just a picture of your foot and ankle  
In /jeans/ omg

****sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh Freckles no stop no jeans jokes please  
** ** ****and yeah duh im aware its a sneaky pic so now youll be curious** **

You literally are the dorkiest human I don't techincally know  
PLus are they skinny jeans...?

****yes maybe** **

You hipster!

****nah dude these are just that old that they dont fit me anymore** **

Not vintage then? ;)

****weve had this battle you are the hipster one with your not stars but flames tattoo and your mysterious piercing** **

Yes we have had this battle but I bet you're a secret indie guy aren't you  
Do you own a beanie?

****...  
** ** ****yes** **

HA I knew it **  
**Punk my arse

****that sounds vaguely painful** **

Oi shut up

****what would punking involve do you think** **

Really, I'm not sure that I want to know, but it probably involves something sharp silver and pointy

****like a knife** **

Oooooooooooh don't make me imagine it, no

******hahaha deal with it Freckles  
** ****jesus its fucking one in the morning i am going the fuck to sleep  
** ** ******night Freckles**

Night Jean!  
:)

****wht wuld yu habe if youn coul have 1 thinf duri ng a zombiiiie apocolytgehse thng** **

It is 4 oclock go to bed jean

****kay bu i wan an anwser tmoorrow** **

Uh huh okay night

 

I'd have a titanium plated oreo factory, thank you for asking Jean

****uuuuuuuuuuuuurgh fuck offffff its 7 oclock** **

It was 4 oclock for me sunshine!!!

****uuuuuuuuuuuuurgh** **

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**now would be a reasonable time to be awake  
** **as it is no longer the asscrack of dawn dickButt**

Jean it's three in the afternoon  
and really did you just make a pun of my name that isnt even my actual name

**yeah so what what you going to do about it  
** **aaaaaaaaaaaand what exactly is your point about the whole three thing**

Dawn has been and gone for a good while now  
Just a few hours

**i give any shits?? now is okay awake time**

Uh huh of course. Have you only just woken up??

**nah i had a shower first**

Wow Jean skills  
You are good at this whole life thing

**yeah man i have life skills i have food in my fridge and the minimum of essays to write what more does life require for me right now**

To be honest I appreciate that logic

**what day is it**

Really???

**yeah**

Friday it's Friday

**thought** **so** **eren keeps saying its thursday i think hes trying to either confuse me or is just thick im never sure which**

Likely trying to confuse you

**probably its the sort of thing hed do  
** **hes a dickhead**

But you're friends right?

**yeah kind of but hes sort of more a mutual antagonist/fight partner as well as part time friend  
** **i made out with him once if that helps define anything**

Um?????  
Story????

**we were getting drunk in our room so i was drunk and curious and he was drunk and horny and hes kinda wibbly anyway on the whole sexuality front and agreed to make out with me without much arguing  
** **guys are pretty much the same as girls when it comes to mouths did you know that except for a significant lack of lip gloss on the male end  
** **he then passed out on me and weve been a lot closer since then  
** **mostly for the fact that each of us might tell everyone that we didnt fight for once we have a reputation to keep up you know**

Jesus that is one hell of a story  
(Also, I have  
um  
made out with guys in lip gloss before.  
As in me wearing it. It's well yeah kind of hot)  
Was that um, how you realised you like guys as well as girls

**riiiiight if you say so Freckles...  
** **no actually  
** **if you want to know that story we could be here for a while plus its kind of embarrassing**

I suppose we're sharing your life story, might as well get the rest of it, embarrassing bits and all. I have plenty of time

**okay strap yourself in dude  
** **so im a typical straight pastey white dude yeah just moved to trost from good old deutschland seriously i was a total douchebag thought i was awesome incarnate  
** **i totally fall flat on my face trying to flirt though because hello english = not fun to learn and i got so much shit wrong for literally years  
** **anyway so i tried flirting with this chick and the only compliment i could think of was you have pretty hair because flirting is not something your old ass language teacher thinks to teach  
** **but this other guy starts laughing at me and i was like woah you have a really cute laugh  
** **obviously being stereotypical straight dude i ignored the feeling and went with oh it must be because it sounds like a girls laugh  
** **then came teenage wet dreams and yeah well that was an awkward eye opening time  
** **my actual i-want-to-date-your-stupid-face crushes were always girls but man the hot stuff usually came from guys  
** **yeah that was my oh hey dudes are good too story  
** **whats yours  
** **only if you want to tell me of course  
** **this is the sharing afternoon yeaaaaaaaaah**

WOah send me a novel why don't you?? You had a rather... illuminating experience then  
I don't mind explaining, it's fine. Mine's... kinda boring to be perfectly honest

**lets hear it then**

So I'm half Italian but I lived in Jinae my whole life (until I moved like an hour away to Trost)  
I kinda always was aware of the fact that I saw my female friends the same as I did my male friends, and that most guys didn't even have female friends. I couldn't see myself dating girls, they were just, too weird and /curvy/ and that wasn't appealing in the slightest.  
Like with you, the dreams pretty much explained everything. I crushed on guys like crazy and yeah That Hot Teacher (he was the PE teacher so yeaaaah that was always good fun)  
Should I be cliche I also kissed a guy and I liked it. I kissed a girl and wasn't that excited because man is it just me or do they expect you to be the forceful one like no, please I am not going to do everything girl you've gotta make an effort as well. Guys are totally willing to push you around and it's basically way more fun  
Sorry was that TMI

**nah youre good  
** **its interesting talking to people you find out the weirdest shit i swear i love it  
** **i agree with you on the guys push you around more thing but i kind of figured it was just eren being eren  
** **huh**

All the guys I've been with have been more forceful than the one girl I ever kissed so I don't know

**maybe ive just had weird girls who knows man  
**

I am far too gay for this conversation

**sorry dude my bad  
** **also picking up on something you said earlier whilst its story time with jean and marco why the fuck did you snog someone wearing lip gloss i am curious**

Four words: Rocky Horror Picture Show

**aaaaaaaaah and it suddenly all makes sense  
** **frank n furter by any chance**

No? That's played by the token straight guy. I was just... well I'm going to say dressed up in glam and glitter because midnight viewings. It was Magenta meets Columbia

**well okay then thats... an interesting image  
** **do you have pictures**

I do but fuck no I am not showing you

**damn you do not want me to see them do you woah  
** **Freckles i have your facebook i can literally just ssearch through your albums and find them i bet theres the pictures on there  
** **do you reaaaaaaaally want me liking them and bringing them all back again**

Oh god no please have mercy! Fine...  
<incoming file: 132572.jpg>  
Look here are you happy now? And before you ask, no you can't see the tattoo from this picture

**fish nets tights Freckles fish net tights  
** **oh jesus fucking christ this is brilliant man glittered gold thigh high boots i am dying over here  
** **aha and a matching hat is it yours or**

Er yeah the whole outfit's mine, I only borrowed the eyeliner. And eyeshadow. And lip gloss obviously. Christa insisted  
Ymir (her girlfriend) took the photo which is why it's shitty quality and all grainy  
She was laughing too hard to hold the camera still and she couldn't find the flash button to turn it on

**damn Freckles its a case of go big or go home with you isnt it woah you really went all out  
** **i bet everyone kept mistaking your freckles for bits of glitter off that jacket am i right also why do you have no shirt on AGAIN**

Yeah I figured if I was going to go I might as well do it properly. I got laid as well what more did I need  
Oh piss off Jean you just keep asking for pictures that just happen for me to be shirtless in I swear I am not doing it on purpose

**well that finally answers my question dude**

Hey it was a difficult question to answer

**not that hard really Freckles  
** **i feel the need to make puns here but also feel like i really shouldnt**

plEASE DON'T  
I can tell exactly what you're going to say and I would really really appreciate if you DIDN'T

**calm down Freckles calm down i wont jesus chill**

Did you really just tell me to chill

**uh huh and proud**

coughcough*HIPSTER*coughcough

**fuck off Freckles you disgust me honestly  
** **i am offended that you still think so when it is clearly you who is the more hipster**

I am the not hipster here but I will stop arguing to stop this trainwreck battle

**yeah thats right back down nerd  
** **ha owned**

What is wrong with you seriously you are an actual nutter  
Why do I like you

**...  
** **....................  
** **.........................you like me**

Um well yeah, I'm still talking to you, aren't I?

**suppose so makes sense  
** **i like you too Freckles youre a cool dude**

Thanks!  
Oh, by the way, nice Facebook profile picture ;)

**oooooh fuck i forgot... i swear it isnt what it looks like**

But the beanie is adorable! Aaah but it doesn't match your fingernails that's a shame.  
You could've at least had red nail polish

**Freckles its black for a reason  
** **punk remember**

Sure it is Jean sure it is  
I believe you

**i may like you but im not sure if i trust you  
** **oi you dickbag why would you comment on it whhhhy eren is never going to shut up about this ever**

Ha, revenge for snEAKILY LIKING THAT PICTURE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT HUH  
I have had so many people taking the piss seriously

**okay we have to stop now this is bad for both of us  
** **war is over**

Definitely. Truce

**truce dude truce**

I should stop texting now and do some work, so er, night Jean. Or, you know, evening

**night Freckles  
** **what do you even study Freckles**

Astrophysics

**HEY youre a nerd too what were the chances  
** **also fuck though youre a fit nerd  
** **im going out on a limb here you are please dont freak on me i may have stalked your facebook a little**

Um same. I was just curious I promise  
And... thanks I guess  
I really should do work though so bye

**bye again sommersprossen**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to God, I didn't mean for it to go this way. I apologise deeply to Marco.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just making sure people are aware:  
> Bold is Jean  
> Normal is Marco  
> Italics is Sasha

Sasha you have to help me  
Please answer I'm serious this is an emergency

_wtf hav u dne now?????_

Jean is... god I don't even know but I may have found his facebook gallery  
And he's like, seriously hot?  
And I think he may be flirting with me slightly   
That's the main issue here  
I don't even know anymore what do I do Sasha help me  
Also do you know if there are any pics of my tattoo on my facebook

_woaaaaaah boy calm down i dont wanna know what u did w/ them pics_   
_yeah duh i know hes hot & i knew hed flirt w/ u _   
_ive met him & im the one that gave him ur #_   
_i dunno check urself lazy :P_

EW no Sash! Please, no.  
I'm on a train Sash please check for me... I'll cook those things you like

_banana muffins??!?!?!?_   
_ye ok fine will check now_   
_y u on a train btw_

Thanks!  
I'm coming back from visiting the parents in Jinae

_cool_   
_ok yeah theres none where its like, big and obvious but theres a shit ton of u in shorts/shirtless so u can sometimes see parts of it_

Damn it  
Hopefully he won't notice

_why??????_

I seem to be making sure Jean guesses where it is rather than finding out

_why?????????????????????_

I'm actually not sure

_does he know about the piercing??????????_

Again he knows I have one but he doesn't know where it is

_hes gonna be in shock when he finds out where tho_   
_i was_   
_most people were tbh_   
_its nt rlly u is it_   
_uv gotta tell him the story when u do tho M_

Most likely  
I intend to... At some point

_dont gimme that shiz u gotta tell him_   
_even if i hav 2 get u drunk_

NO   
YOU WOULDN'T

_I WULD_   
_I SO WULD_   
_U FLIRT SO BAD M_   
_UD FLIRT W/ HIM SO BAD_   
_ITD B A CARCRASH_   
_OMG I BET U FLIRT W/ HIM ALL THE TIME W/O EVEN REALISIN_

NO I DON'T JEEZ SASH

_I BET U DO OMG_  
 _THATS IT IM TAKING U OUT & UR GONNA HAV A GOOD TIME SO HELP ME_  
 _MAYBE ULL GET LAID 2 IF U ADMIT IT 2 URSELF U LIKE JEAN_   
_U OWE ME 4 HELPIN U AVOID FB SO U GOTTA DO WHAT I WANNA DO_

I'M MAKING YOU FOOD??? IS THAT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU????

_NO NT ENOUGH ILL TELL HIM ABOUT THE PIERCING STORY MYSELF & WONT EXPLAIN IT PROPER IF U DONT LET ME TAKE U OUT 2NITE_

FINE. YOU WIN, I'M NOT DEALING WITH THE FALLOUT OF THAT CONVERSATION

_PUSHOVER_

BITCH

_LAMEASS DICKNOZZLE_

I CAUGHT YOU SUCKING CONNIE'S DICK YESTERDAY YOU CAN'T TALK

_OOOOH GETTIN THE CLAWS OUT_

I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE

_ILL PICK U UP AT 6 K YE_   
_WEAR THE SKINNY JEANS_   
_OR THE RIPPED ONES_

 

I hate Sasha so much

**why**

She's a devil I swear

**chicks are**

But she's, super evil. Times 100

**what did she make you do**

We're going drinking tonight and she's paying

**um okay hows that a bad thing**

I feel bad not drinking stuff people have spent money on  
And she's intending to get me smashed  
That's definitely a bad thing

**but why**

Um... I tend to get loud.

**loud?**

I talk a lot. To anyone  
Particularly guys

**so you flirt**

...  
Maybe

**so im going to assume that you still havent got laid and that sasha is still frustrated at you and wants you to flirt a bit at this club and get laid**

Not quite but close enough

**fine whatever close enough is good enough**   
**why are you so anti the idea of flirting and getting laid anyway**

Because I'll end up saying/doing stuff I'll regret the next day

**thats half the fun of being a 19/20 however old you are**

20  
And no, it isn't

**cool im 19**   
**it so is life is for making shitty decisions and burning up and crashing head first in a big pile ofmetaphorical flaming rubber tires and making good stories and memories for when youre 86 and senile**

You can be deep too huh

**that wars over dude fuck you**

Fine, fine! *surrenders*  
I'll try to enjoy myself okay

**yep good and ill try not to be too bored home alone**

No Eren?

**hes at armins studying tonight its some english nerd group club**   
**they both do lit although eren does some police training thing on the side**   
**he wants to go into the police force**   
**hes really into it its hilarious**   
**like he wants to catch all criminals ever**

I like Lit, don't say that like it's a bad thing!  
Ah don't mock him Jean, it's nice he has a passion

**dude im german i can read/write english fine but poetry metaphors go over my head a lot of the time**   
**fuck you i can mock him if i want**

Oooooh yeah that makes sense... Didn't think about that

**its fine dont worry about it**   
**i try not to make it obvious usually because then people take the piss out of me by badly mimicking german accents**   
**im not sure why people feel the need to do it but im not really that fussed by it**   
**im used to it by this point**

I can't say I know the feeling as I don't think of myself as being Italian though Ma is  
But I can sympathise   
It must suck

**like i said im used to it and most people dont really care**   
**so when is sasha dragging you out anyway**

Supposedly in half an hour, but it's Sasha, so I'd say an hour is a more likely time

**do you have a skype**

Yes...?

**what is it**

Marco Bodt is my name, then FreckledGaytheSecond is my username  
Ymir made it to match hers  
FreckledGaytheFirst  
And now I can't change it because of Skype being a dick about name changes

**OH JESUS IM DYING**   
**thats so fucking hilarious**   
**ill find you hang on**   
**im NotJohnOrGene by the way**

Bitter about the name thing are we

**not at all**

Found me?

**yeah let me just send a request**

Gotcha, I'll switch the laptop on

 

<NotJohnOrGene is online>

Jean Kirchstein would like to add you on Skype

hi its jean accept me fucker

Accept/Decline

<Accept>

Marco Bodt shared contact details with Jean Kirchstein

<FreckledGaytheSecond is online>

**wicked now we can talk for cheaper because my tariff was running low**

Oh I didn't think... I have unlimited texts

**i have a thousand a month or something**

Ah right  
I'll have to go in a minute   
I need to get ready to go out  
I need a shower

**go get suited and booted**   
**or you know ready to go drink and get smashed because im not sure dancing in a suit would be the best idea**   
**although its a hot image**

Wait what's a hot image

**people dancing in suits**   
**boys in suits are hot in general**   
**all lines and angles and mmmmmmmmmh especially with a black suit and a skinny tie yeah its good**   
**i have learnt this and am not ashamed to text a fellow male-who-is-attracted-to-males this fact**

That... that is true yes  
Anyway I'll talk later I'm just getting into the shower  
I'm sorry in advance if you get any weird texts from me, as they might be from Sasha or just me very drunk

**okay ill be on guard**   
**talk later**

 

_MARCOOOOOOOOOO IMMA OUTSIDE UR HOUSE GET UR BUTT OUT HERE RN_   
_R U IN THE RIPPED JEANS OR THE SKINNY ONES_   
_Y U NO ANSWER_   
_ITS COOOOOOLD HRRY UP_   
_MARCOPOLO WHERE R U_   
_Y U NO ANSWER MARCO YYYYYYYYYYYY_   
_M PLS I RANG THE BELL LIKE X4_   
_Y Y Y GET HERE NOW_

I'm coming! I was just getting my jeans on   
Let me get my keys and I'll be out  
...Is that Connie's car??

_YEA HES COMIN WITH US N WERE GETTING A TAXI BACK K_

Oh okay :)

_:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD_   
_O NICE I LIKE THE RIPPED ONES_

Sasha I'm outside the car why are you texting me from there

_CONNIES TRYNA B NOSY CAN I TELL HIM THE REAL STORY_

NO! He'll tell Jean!

_oops_

Sasha.......?

i may hav already told him i just wanted 2 no ur reaction b4 i spoke 2 u in person  
 _am i dead??????_

yeS

_:/_   
_O.o_   
_haha ok get ur butt in the car lets rooooooooooooll out_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Marco everybody  
> Have fun.  
> Also, there are points where Sasha/Connie are using Marco's phone.  
> Their texts will still be in normal lettering, rather than Sasha's italics - that's for when she's using her phone.

Heeeeey jean so i wondering abiut something   
Would you ever want to have a skype seujmmnkll

**what the fuck is happening here**   
**wait skype what exactly**   
**...////**

Asv 3yd nnnnnHI JEAN   
Hey THOS PHONEE DOE AUTO CAPS HO WCOOL IS THIA

**marco?**   
**im preparing myself for the onslaught of messages that are no doubt about to spam the fuck out of my phone**

Y u preaingng??? whaaaaaaaaa r u prepatingf hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiuh wink iwnk iwnk wonk ;) u naugt y boy

**is this even you Freckles**   
**and ew thats actually fucking disgusting**

AaaaAAAAAH U CALL IM FRECKLES THATD ADORBALE :DD

**im going to assume thats a no then**   
**and im not adorable!**

This issasha u remmebr me yeaah marcos not herr rn   
Hes benn gyarding his phone relifgiioulsy allllllllllll nite & i finally got it of gim by stelin it outta hi s bak cposcket  
Hehs got a rlly nice but t did u no that  
I bet u no tha frm ur FB stakling

**yep that is definitely not you Freckles**   
**yes i remember you sasha weve met a few times now**   
**has it been you the whole time?**

Naaaaaaaaah M sen t the first likr 3 mmessahes

**that makes sense**   
**the grammar was better during the first few messages**

JEAAAAAAAN ITS ME ITS CONNIE   
LOOK JEAN i have proof its me!!  
<Incoming file: 354786.jpg>  
<Incoming video file: 142682.mp4>

**yes connie i can tell thats you and sasha from the way your faces are very squashed together**   
**whats on your forehead**   
**actually i dont want to know dont answer that**   
**where the fuck are you anyway**   
**and wheres marco? did you kill him?**

I kissed her face!!!!! look at her face man its all kissed i am awesome  
HEA A DICKKK IFNORE HIM I KISDED HIS FSACE FIRS   
And i recorded it like how epic is that   
Look video evidnefgb   
WE R AT 104TH U NO THE NEW CLUB PLCAE   
Marco''s in the pisser hes sulking coz we took his phone off him :DD apparently we're being rude!!! i am not rude nooooooo no way man nope nein  
that s german ye

**yes it is german**   
**i think you are a bit rude dude its his personal stuff**   
**how did you unlock his phone anyway?**

He was going to text you we think then we snatched it so he sort of ish unlocked it for us kinda  
DAAAAMN HE WAS GOIN G TO TELL JJ TH E PIRERCING STIRY AND WE STOPED HIM

**the what story?**   
**also jj fuck you thats not funny**

THE PRIERCING STORY U NO ABOUT HID PIERCING   
SO IS FUBNY

**oooh right**   
**tell me? i need some sort of blackmail from this**

NAAAAAAAAAAAH ILLL GET HI M TO TEL U ITLL B FUNNIER  
BRB YE

**okay ill just be here waiting at one in the morning, falling asleep**   
**oi how long does it take ive been waiting like half an hour**

Oh I'm sorrry jean sashonnie took myp hone!

**oh god not you too i was hoping youd be slightly more sane**   
**sashonnie? what the fuck does that even mean**   
**english is weird**

I am sane just a bit druunk :))  
The sasha/connie dio  
*fuo  
**duo

**lets just go with i am more than aware of the fact that sasha/connie took your phone and that you should probably read the other messages in this thread**

Ooops haha :DD  
Ooooh at leaast they didnt' tell you the stry that#s mine to tell

**and the spelling is getting worse... how drunk are you?**

Quite???? pretty drunk yeaaaah  
Nearly as much as your e prettty prtty jean  
Sasha was giving me shotts

**um...**   
**...////............**   
**shit man youre plastered there is no way you know what youre saying**

We're on uor way to nother bar now :)))  
JUst talk to me jea n please i'm ignoring sashonnie on principijm  
*princioal  
*principal

**why are you ignoring them, because they took your phone?**

Naaaaah they wrre bein mean fuckers an were joking about stuff i told em nit to jkoe about

**so im going to assume that sashas plan didnt work then**

Welll 1 of her plans sort of workedd but te oter didnt not rlly anyway  
But no i havent goot laidd thats what /you/ menat right thats th onyl plan /you/ know   
Pls stop sashonnie giving me ayn moore drinks my heads all fuzzy

**i cant do much about that Freckles youve just got to stop accepting the drinks yourself**

Buut youre my best friend youre supposeed to help me!!1!!! :((((((  
GIODOOD JEAN PLS STOP EETXING HIM HES SUPPOS D 2 B PARTAYIN NOT MOPING IN A CORNERRRRR W/ HSS PJHONE ALL NITE  
HONETLY WAT R U DOIN JEEEEZ

**um no you cant make me i can talk to whoever i want noone can stop me**

U HV 2 FAL SLEEP EVENTUALY RIHGT

**never**   
**i will be up until dawn just watch me bitch**   
**im going to keep texting until you are all asleep instead**

Oh im sorry jena the y stlle my phon e again ooopsss!!!  
Doo you wana know the storyh ????? :DD

**yeah alright youve got me curious now**   
**ive heard way too much about this fucking story without knowing the details of it**

HA then youve gottaaa guedds whee its is

**for fucks sake Freckles how am i supposed to guess**   
**lip**   
**eyebrow**   
**nose?**

Noooopeeee!!  
Noen of thosee  
Gues again jeaaaan :))))

**hip?**

Nooooo youre bnot v good at thisa re you

**oi im trying my best here its 2 in the morning give or take and i am really fucking tired**   
**cant you just tell me the story without actually telling me what it is**

But i cant do that itd ruin the dsttory!!!!!!!   
I want yu to be surpirsed

**trust me Freckles with the amount youre hiding about this fucking piercing its going to be surprising no matter what**

Its not the riercing thats weird relly its the vstory that oes with it   
Its a bti weird anf gets pretty sexaul

**um?**   
**explanation please you cannot leave me with only that to go on**

There s blowjobs ivoved in it ;) is taht enough deetails

**okay**   
**okay**   
**..../// erm**   
**i think i can wait to hear the story you know what im suddenly feeling really too tired to function properly its getting really hard**   
**to concentrate really hard to concentrate**   
**im going to go to bed now night sommersprossen**

NIght jeaaaan /!!!! :DD   
Youre my best friend rght jean   
Jean???!?!? :O  
Pleas e answer m Jeaaaan

**yes Freckles im your best friend**   
**and youre mine okay**   
**ill talk to you more tomorrow when i can think straight**   
**i need to be able to think straight**

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay jean !!!  
Youre the best!!!! :))))))

 

  
Oh my God I'm so sorry for last night  
I am so very very sorry

**its cool Freckles it was hilarious**   
**plus you apologised in advance anyway**   
**that was the whole point of doing so wasnt it**   
**how was the hangover?**

Was??? Was??? I'm still hungover I've basically only just woken up  
I feel like shit  
Death is upon me

**dude you do realise its 3 right i thought you were some sort of freaky morning person**

Not when I was up until 5 in the morning and then spent a good quarter of an hour puking into my toilet as soon as I stepped in my door

**go eat some bacon you weirdo youre in a shitty hangover mood**

I just want coffeeeeeeeeeeeee

**go get some then**

But the daylight is sooooo briiiiiiiiight it hurts :(

**and what exactly do you want me to do about it**

I don't know  
Help me I'm dying

**get one of your roommates to make you a coffee**

They're all out doing lectures and work and not-hungover things  
They all suck :((

**so am i sommersprossen im doing essay writing about the world of chemically bonded metal structures**

Well you suck too then

**i feel the need to make an inappropriate joke about your half-assed blowjob story but think i might be murdered over the phone**

You would be don't you even dare  
I would not have told you that over a text sober

**i will refrain until you feel a bit less like death warmed up then**   
**but wait does that mean that youd tell me sober just not by text**

Well yeah duh probably  
I said I'd tell you when you worked out where my piercing is  
It's really not that exciting  
Although I'm kind of thinking about getting another one

**fuck you Freckles ill know eventually**   
**hey well im thinking of changing up my hair colour we can both do a change**   
**what do you think would go**   
**i know you know what i look like**

I think a red would work  
Or a bit of blue, in streaks maybe  
I don't know, I can't dye my hair because it's too dark, so I've never really thought about it

**maybe ill get a tattoo as well**

If you want to, go for it

**i have a small one already**   
**it was my act of teen rebellion tattoo though**   
**so i want a proper one**   
**would you get another tattoo?**

I'm not sure... Maybe if I could think of something that would go with the one I have now  
Got any ideas?

**how am i supposed to know i dont know what your current one looks like**   
**tribal-y patterns isnt the most helpful of descriptions**

I was thinking about wings

**hey cool**   
**i thought about some kind of wings thing too**   
**we could match**   
**how weird would that be**

Freaky!  
Also I am in pain Jesus Christ oooooow

**hungover still?**

Yes but that's not why I'm in pain  
I may have been going to the kicthen with a blanket on my head because the light was making my eyes water and I may have walked into a table leg. Slightly. And bashed my shin

**fucking ow man that kills jesus**

It's swollen!! :(  
<Incoming file: 146277.jpg>  
Bruises Jean. Bruises.

**dude where do you /not/ have freckles**   
**plus well done on your tan line fuuuuuck man**   
**do you live only in shorts or something**

Basically... I climb in shorts on the outdoor walls, and one is pretty much always in the sun

**that makes sense i guess**   
**now go get your coffee and stop being a grumpy butt**   
**or grumpy bodt**   
**whatever**

You didn't

**oh i did**   
**i went there**

Why  
This is a violation   
I get enough shit from people I actually know about my name let alone from you too

**you do know me**

Only sort of  
I don't even know your favourite colour or favourite film or any of the sort of things that you ask people when you first meet them

**red and pulp fiction are you happy now have you satisfied your nosiness**   
**plus i think that sort of question is only for first dates or uni icebreaker activities**

Fine, honey, where would you like to take me on a date then  
I want roses and candles but I don't wait until the third date to get down and dirty because I am in no way a Victorian prudish girl

**um right okay /babe/**   
**is a meal for two at the Ritz suitable for his highness**   
**ill try to wrangle free champagne**

That would be perfect! ;)

**oh fuck you go get your cheap ass instant coffee and nurse your knee you weirdo**   
**i should get to class**   
**ill talk to you later**

Oh okay!   
Would you want to do a skype call later maybe? After your class, or in the evening or something

**yeah sounds alright**   
** erens out at armins again so i wont be interrupted **

That... sounded pretty bad Jean XD

**what...?**   
**oh fuck off Freckles i didnt mean it like that**   
**talk later**

Bye JJ

**verpiss dich wichser**   
**das macht nicht spass**   
**why doesnt this phone do umlauts or accents or anything other than english letters what the fuck this is fucking annoying**   
**i am complaining to the makers**

You do that JJ

**/tchuss/ sommersprossen**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to God I did not mean for an angsty backstory plot thing to start to rear its head and I promise I will try to stamp it out.  
> Maybe.
> 
> Marco's phone/skype=plain text  
> Jean=bold  
> Sasha=italics  
> Connie=underlined  
> Does Sasha ever use her own phone??? Who knows.

**hey freckles**   
**do you want to skype now then**   
**i need to rant about life and shit**

Yeah! Sure that's fine. :) Let me get my laptop and I'll be right with you  
Are you okay Jean?

**yeah im fine ive just had a fucking shitty day**

Oh, really?

**yep i really am fine though**   
**i just need to have a yell**

Get it off your chest a bit

**yeah basically**

Okay I've got my laptop ready

**cool ill turn skype on**

**< NotJohnOrGene is online>**

<FreckledGaytheSecond is online>

Do you want to video chat or just stick to audio? I'm not fussed which :)

**i can video if you can but i think i want to stick to calling first**

Awh, are you shy JJ? ;)

**no**   
**and you can fuck right the hell off why would i be shy of you freckles youre like super lame**

Okay then JJ whatever you say  
And I'm not lame :(

**FUCK OFF**   
**yes you are**

I'll host then?

**probably best my connection is kinda shitty**

Cool!   
Oh yeah I forgot to mention, all my roommates are in tonight so I apologise in advance (I seem to be doing that a lot don't I?) if they seem a bit... loud

**hey chill dont worry about it i know eren remember**   
**he is the epitome of madness and loudness**   
**and yep you definitely do**

<Incoming call from FreckledGaytheSecond>

**< Accept or Decline>**

**< NotJohnOrGene accepted the call>**

<Press the red button to terminate the call>

**"..."**

"..."

**"... hi."**

"...um, hi, Jean. You alright then?"

**"...fuuuuuuuuuuuuck...oh _godjesuschrist._.."**

"Um, eloquent much? I couldn't hear that, it was all muffled. Is your mic covered up or something?"

**"Oh piss off, you dick. I didn't say anything. The mic's fine"**

"Yeah, that's better. More like what I was expecting."

**"Didn't I live up to expectations then?"**

"Really? No. No way. I expected way more talking and swearing by now."

**"I can leave this call at _any_ time, I swear."**

"But you wouldn't!"

**"Fight me, Freckles."**

"Difficult when I have no idea where you are."

**"This is like arguing with Eren, wow, and here I was hoping I could escape him."**

"Awh, Jay-Jay, you're so mean to me."

***a thud, and a choked off laugh***   
**"Dude, I can hear the pout in your voice, stop, man, seriously."**

"Never! I shall embrace the 12 year old girl inside of me!"

**"Okay, so now you don't sound like Eren. He would never admit to being a 12 year old."**

"But he would admit to being a girl?"

**"I have no idea, but it's more likely, since he looks about 12 so constantly has to bring ID. I'm talking everywhere. He hates it."**   
***a cackle of laughter***

"Damn, unlucky. I... don't often get carded. I clearly look over 18."

**"I still do sometimes but fuck it, I'm 19, I'm legal, I couldn't give two shits. I'll get that vodka thanks Mr Pissy Cashier so is clearly bored and wants to take it out on me."**

"So when did that happen?"

**"Couple of weeks ago. I swear to God, it must be the piercings. People hate me."**

"Some people must think they're cool though?"

**"Oh yeah, definitely man."**

"I rarely have my piercing in, so people can't tell."

**"I am so fucking curious about this piercing I swear to God."**

"Guess it."

**"We are not playing this game, I refuse to pander to you."**

"Ha, have fun never knowing then."

**"I'll find out, mark my words, Freckles."**

"Yeah, yeah, Jay-Jay, if you say so."  
*a sigh, and shuffling noises*

**"Wha- What are you doing? Moving stuff around?"**

"Nah, I'm just getting changed. My hoodie smells like the inside of a athlete's locker after three months of winter training. And the chilli sauce I just spilt on it."

***a cough***   
**"Oh... Well done genius."**

"Piss off Jay-Jay. Anyway, didn't this call have a purpose at one point?"

**"Nah, we never even got that far."**

"You had a shit day...?"

**"Oh God, your voice does not sound right swearing. It's like, you're all softly spoken and then, boom, swear words. I'm all rusty and shit so it doesn't sound weird."**

"Just because I'm not all gruff-"

**"I never said gruff!"**

"Do you smoke by any chance?"

**"Nope, my da's a doctor. I know way too much about lung cancer to go for that."**

"Never though?"

**"I've smoked pot. That's actually medically different though. I should know. Chemist."**

"You absolute nerd."

**"Eh, fuck off, Space Boy."**

"It's not an insult if it's true, Jay-Jay. How did we get so off topic again?"

**"I don't know, you're just easy to talk to, I guess."**

"Awh, Jean, I'm blushing."

**"Bet you couldn't even see your blush under all those freckles. I mean, I know loads of people with freckles, but they're pretty faint. Yours are... intense freckles."**

"I have no idea why they're so dark, big or... you know, quite so everywhere, but it must be genetic. My whole family has them."

**"I'll say. Got any siblings?"**

"One. Little sister, she's... Um I think she's fifteen? About that. No, yeah, she's fifteen."

**"Jesus, Bodt, you don't even know how old your sister is?"**

"I know, I know, I just couldn't think of the date, her birthday was ages ago."

**"Riiiiight, of course. What's her name?"**

"Mithian."

**"Like the legend?"**

"What?"

**"Oh, in the legends of King Arthur. There's a woman called Mithian."**

"As far as I'm aware, she's just Mithian. I don't know if she's named after that one or not."

**"Whatever, it's a pretty wicked name."**

"Guess so. You have any siblings?"

**"Nah, I'm an only child."**

"Lucky."

**"I'm a spoiled brat and I know it."**

"You know what? I can tell."

**"You are not as nice as you look, Freckles."**

"I'm flattered, really."

**"You're weird."**

"Thanks. Also, this conversation has de-railed again."

**"So it has."**

"How was your day, Jean?"

**" _Shitty_."**

*a snort of laughter, hastily muffled*  
"Yeah, I kinda got that. How was it shitty?"

**"I had to pay waaaay too many bills so now our food budget is on the floor, and then I got rejected from where I applied for work-"**

"Where did you apply?"

**"Oh, just a homeware store type place. I had taken out all my piercings for the interview but someone must've noticed the holes and decided that I would be the type to wear them at work. Fuck no, man, I wouldn't do that."**

"That is cruel, but maybe they're just super strict with their rules?"

**"I don't know but I'm fucking pissed at any rate."**

"So, not good. That it?"

**"If that was it I'd be okay. Nope, I had my results back from an paper I did, which I only scraped a pass for, despite spending hours on it. Literally hours. I'm talking blood, sweat and actual, physical tears - not that I cried, yeah?"**

"If you say so, Jean, if you say so. What was it, Chemistry?"

**"Nah, a public speaking paper thing. Sometimes I love it, and it can be pretty interesting, but mostly I just fucking hate it. With passion."**

"Public speaking? As in, speeches?"

**"Yeah, I know, the anti-social punk-y arsehole likes talking in public."**

"No, no, I really wasn't surprised about that fact, it was just... You're quite... blunt? It doesn't seem like your thing, to be honest."

**"Oi, I so can do posh you fucker."**

*a soft laugh, and a huff of air*  
"The meaning and the actual words of that sentence are so contradictory it hurts. **"**

**"Stop laughing at me, dickhead, I'm a scientist at heart."**

"So am I!"

**"Oh yeah, I forgot you are a nerd too."**

"I prefer the term geek. It implies I have a social life."

**"Of course you do. That's why you're talking to a guy you only know through skype and texts and- well, facebook stalking."**

"I do not stalk your facebook, Jean!"

**"Oh really? Do you prefer a different word then?"**

"I don't- It's not- Jean! Shut up... Stop laughing! It's not that funny."

**"Freckles, it really, really is. Just admit you stalk me."**

"I was just curious."

**"Ha, I knew it!"**

"Wait, what?"

**"I knew you stalked my facebook, I could just tell."**

"You tricked me."

**"A little."**

"I bet you've stalked mine too."

**"I looked through your photos, yep. Not afraid to admit that."**

"But not my posts?"

**"Not really."**

"Huh. I don't think I believe you, somehow."

**"Maybe I'm just not a creep like you, Freckles."**

"Really doubting you right now, Jay-Jay."

**"Fuck off."**

"Not quite as fun when it's turned around on you, is it?"

**"You really are an arse, aren't you? Secretly, beneath the kind freckly exterior."**

"I'm not always an arse. Not usually! Sasha says-"  
*a long pause*

**"Sasha says _what_ exactly?"**

"...mpffh."

**"Sorry, I couldn't hear that with your hand over your mouth."**

"Hoodie sleeve actually."

**"Whatever, Freckles, I don't give a shit. What does Sasha say? You're clearly embarrassed, so now I've got to know."**

" "I only let the arse out when I'm drunk or tired. Or horny." "

**"I'm going to go with you being tired right now then."**

"Hmmm, yeah. I... erm... I am pretty tired."

**"You only woke up about 6 hours ago."**

"No, no, I am kinda tired. I'm just worn out I think."

**"Work overload?"**

"I reckon. I need a holiday."

**"Or you could follow Sasha's advice and get laid."**

"Ewww, ew, ew, ewwww, Jean, that's not... I'm not gonna get laid just because I need a relax!"

**"It works though, doesn't it?"**

"I suppose but... Is sex all you think about?"

**"Not all of it, but quite a lot."**

"I felt that wink through the screen."

**"You have a creepy skill there, Freckles."**

"Called it."

**"Anyway, I thought you went out with Sasha and Connie to get laid?"**

"No, that was their plan. Mine was just to get smashed."

**"That usually works for me, but clearly not for you."**

"No... I just feel worse afterwards."

**"No shit Sherlock, hangovers suck balls."**

"Not just the hangover, although yeah, that sucks, but... I don't know. I just feel like I wasted a whole evening whenever I go out and can't remember most of it. Bit pointless."

**"That's true I guess."**

"I bet you like to remember your conquests, don't you. Proud of them or something."

**"Conquests? Really?"**

"It's an appropriate word."

***a pause, and then keyboard keys clicking***   
**"You're implying that I plunder my partners? I battle them, defeat them and then steal all of their prized possessions?"**

"God, no, not like that! It's just a word, to, you know, describe a more... I don't know, sub-y partner."

***keyboard keys clicking***   
**"Huh."**

"Hey, did you just google that?"

**"Maybe... So, I'm the big, handsome, dominant sex machine?"**

"Those are not the words I was using to describe you...!"

**"I don't know, I'm pretty damn handsome."**

"I, I guess you are, well, pretty hot, b-but, that's besides the point, Jean!"

**"I'm hot? Really? Is that the best you've got?"**

"Y-You are and you know it, Jean. And, hey, you changed your mind about the dominant bit as well."

**"I never changed my mind, Freckles, it's just not always true. But usually, yep, I am. With girls you kind of have to be though."**

"Not with other guys you don't."

**"I imagine topping though."**

*a splutter, and a quiet groan*  
"Aaaaaaaaaand that's definitely the end of this conversation...!"

**"Really Freckles? Can't take the heat?"**

"I really, really can't, and I'm going to bed."

**"Scared you off, did I Freckles?"**

"Goodnight Jean."

**"Night, Freckles."**

<FreckledGaytheSecond has quit the call>

<Call disconnected>

<FreckledGaytheSecond is offline>

**< NotJohnOrGene is offline>**

 

  
**connie this is not good**   
**its becoming a code red**   
**i am in need of help**   
**right now preferably**   
**connie you arsehole get your butt over here**

sorrrrry i can't rn am at sashs buuuuut i can text   
code red really????????   
i have no idea what a code red is

**code red**   
**remember when you met sasha and started panicking big time**   
**that was a code red**   
**I AM PANICKING CON HELP ME**

eyyyyyyYYYYY jj soooo con tells me u r havin boy troubles!!! Sxxxxxxx

**what the fuck sasha i never said boy**

aaaah but we no about u + ur friend   
and we can do the sums ye   
AND U NEVER DENIED IT! Sxxxx

**um**   
**marco may be... part of the problem yes**

i knew it ha jean rlly marco????? cuz i never said marco u put that name in    
not so no homo now ehhhh   
you want the freckled d yes or yes??? Sxxx

**...**   
**.... maybe**   
**hes fucking hot alright is that a crime**

he is at that!!! :DDDDD Sxx   
if that's your thing i guess   
but are you ever going to do anything about it????

**this is why i came to you two really**   
**excellent advice givers**

ooooooi i culd feel the sarcasm mr grumpy guts :((((( u want help or not?? Sxxx

**i guess**

do you want to call instead

**nah im fine**

me and sash could come over if you want

**you just want to see my face when you take the piss dont you**

only a little?   
AAAAAAYY dw about it jj ily i promise im nt meaaan Sxxxxx

**that makes me feel so much better yep definitely**   
**and no**

AAWWWWH jj ur a meanie :(( fiiiiiiine. :(((((((( Sxxxx

  
\----

  
_M_   
_M_   
_M_   
_M M M MMMMMMMMM_   
_MMMMMMMM MMMMMM MMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMM_   
_M_   
_MAAAAAAARCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_   
_M babe_   
_talk 2 me ye_

Yes Sasha?

_ur so in_

What are you talking about Sasha? :)

_u no what i mean w/ ur passo aggro smileys u_   
_Mr Hunky Mc Lunk Hunk skinny ass wants ur butt_   
_LIKE U WANT HIS SKINNY BUTT_   
_GO GET THAT BUTT_   
_GOOOOOOOOOOOOO_   
_USE THEM FLIRTING POWERS_   
_FINE IGNORE ME THEN DICK_

I've been subjected to flirting from him and I nearly died of embarrassment and I'd rather not have to deal with it again thanks

_not just embarrassment eeeeh i beeeeeeeeeet u wanted him in ur beeeed_   
_ok now ur rlly ignoring me fuck u :(((_   
_hes talking 2 me + con right now n i swear just flrt a bit w/ him k he cant take what he deals its hilarious im dying_

  
_\---_

  
sooooooooooooo have u flirted w/ him yet jj??? i bet u hav! Sxxxxxxx   
so jj con tells moi ur rlly bad at flirting

**i am not bad at flirting**   
**ask any chick ive picked up**

lets face it jean they went with you for your body not your pillow talk

**i am strangely offended**

oooooooooooooooooh con says u get flustered real easy is this tru 2??? Sxxx

**no! no way dude what**   
**stop telling her shit**

man i bet you're so red right now just imagining marco flirting with you   
hes prtty good tbh + wow he has a dirty mouth when he gets goin Sxxx

  
\---

  
**Freckles please tell your friends to stop harrassing me**

What? No way, this sounds hilarious from what I'm getting!

**you are the devils spawn**   
**you horrid horrid boy**   
**i bet theyre not telling you anything and youre just trying to annoy me**   
**dickhead**

  
\---

  
**i am not blushing what no way**   
**sasha how do you know this**

you so are   
u so r + i was 1 of his roommates last yr u learn these things   
i went w/ him 2 rocky horror Sxxxxx

**fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that was not an image i needed sasha**   
**you in fishnets ugh**

oi fuck u i was hot in them :P   
oooooooh i bet u liked the fishnets on maaaaaaaaarco tho :DDDDDD Sxx

**he wasnt really in eyeliner was he**

wow jean the things you focus on   
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep he was!!! Sxxx

**fuck**   
**fuck my life**

  
\--

  
_he blushes soooooooooo much accordin 2 con lucky u_   
_he also likes the eyeliner and fishnets_   
_ur in for some kink l8r let me tell uuuuuuuu_

Sasha please stop telling me this

_neveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!_

Are you high Sasha?

_happy!!!!!!!1_

  
\---

  
**are you two high**

happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u + marco have a phycisss link did u kno Sxxxxx   
pyschc   
psysich   
pysich   
psychic

**definitely high**   
**i should stop talking to you two its not helping at all and your sanity is failing fast**   
**me and marco??**

he askdd that 2!!! if we were hiiiiiiiiigh!!!!!111 Sxxxx

**youre talking to him now?**

yes she is and man lets just say i wouldn't worry

**are her texts too incomprehensible for him to read**

well that's not entirely untrue   
not what i meant but not untrue

**what did you mean then?**

eh doesn't matter you'll work it out pretty quickly

**i hate you lot you know that right**

i'm aware yes :DDD

**go fuck a duck on a bike both of you**

um okkkkkkkkkkkkkkk????? Sxxxx

**im going to sleep screw you two**

night jean    
nite JJ!!!!! Sxxxxxxxxxx <3

 

\----

  
_ur new bf is a dick_   
_i like him_

Sasha  
He isn't my boyfriend  
And you knew him first, what are you talking about?

  
_he isnt ur bf YET_   
_ur point means nadda_

No, Sasha, just stop  
Don't let me get my hopes up, alright? He said he doesn't date guys. Would only fuck them.

_aaaaaawwh bb?? i didnt kno bb ok_   
_im sure he wants u 4 more than that_

You spoke to him about that sort of thing! What did he say?

_... he wants u_

Ah. So he wants me. Not to date me.   
I know I'm not ugly okay Sasha but I  
I couldn't do that to myself again

_bb i kno it was hard 4 u but hes a sweetie inside he wouldna hurt u_   
_kinda the opposite of u ye lol not that ud hurt a fly but like ur a bit f an arsehole internally tho u sound so nice and hes like a total dick but squishy inside_   
_i kinda just wanna squish u rn_   
_u need a hug_

Kind of. Yeah.

_< Incoming file: cuuuutesquishycatcuddlepile.gif>_   
_< Incoming file: lookitsmyfaceandmyarmshuggingacam4uruhappynow.gif>_

Thanks Sasha

_ily u kno this y_

Yeah. Night. Love you too.

_night :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jean is becoming me and I'm not even sorry

 

**your friend is an evil evil EVIL human**  
**does she thrive off of man pain or something**  
**is she some sort of pain vampire**  
**sucking embarrassment instead of blood**

Jean who on earth are you on about

**sasha duh Freckles who else**

Oooh... right. What was she actually talking to you about last night??  
I get the feeling that she was being... intrusive

**thats one way of putting it**  
**shes an abrasive bitch wow**

Sometimes she just doesn't know where to draw the line, that's all

**we were talking about my lack of a social life**

Lack of a /social/ life huh okay then  
You seem to know loads of people though

**but i never go out to see them**  
**ive never met my**  
**my best friend**

...  
Me...?

**yeah**  
**no shit sherlock**

////Jean//////  
You're my best friend too, to be honest

**i feel like weve had this discussion before now**

I feel the same. Weird

**maybe we are psychic**

Somehow I doubt that Jean

**i dont know we might be**  
**what am i thinking now**

"i should do my chemistry and blow up some more ceilings"

**close**  
**thats what im thinking a lot to be fair**  
**but no**

"marco is truly amazing and should be worshipped daily by hot slaves in very little clothing on their  
hands and knees"  
Oh wait they're just my thoughts :D  
Jean?  
Are you there anymore?

**oh sorry man i was distracted**  
**i was just**  
**cleaning up after myself**

What, did you spill something  
Some sort of acid thing I bet you chem nerd

**oi you dick i am not a nerd**  
**not entirely**  
**but anyway nah it was just some gloopy shit**  
**wouldnt come out of my jeans after i knelt in it**

Eeeeeew, delightful, Jean

**tell me about it dude**  
**it was gross**

I don't really think I want to know why there was a puddle (??) of 'gloopy shit' anyway

**you really really dont**  
**its... some... biology thing**  
**i dont know**

Biology?

**um right**  
**yeah**  
**erens friend mikasa does biology for her degree and she works in our dorm because ive set up a lab**  
**thing**  
**yeah thats it yeah**

Oooookaaaay then  
I really don't think i want to know now

**you dont trust me**  
**anyway**  
**i was thinking**  
**do you want to do another skype call today**

I have work later, but sure, yeah! That sounds great. :)

**after your work then**  
**in the evening**  
**i have loads of classes in the day today**

That's fine by me  
There's everyone in the house again tonight but they weren't as loud as I thought they'd be last time so  
they should be okay  
I know Reiner (one of the housemates, I can't remember if I told you who they all are??) has a huge  
essay so he won't be being too much of a pain

**i dont mind**  
**and i think erens here**  
**but he wont care particularly**  
**we have separate rooms and locks anway**  
**you havent told me about your roommates past the chick annie**

Reiner and Bertholdt (Bert)  
Reiner is loud and large and gayer than a pride parade  
Bert is quiet and even more large  
Annie Bert and Reiner are in a poly-relationship  
I think they are at any rate

**is that where theres more than 2 people dating each other**

Yeah basically

**huh cool**  
**ive got to go to class but ill talk to you later**

Yep, talk later Jean :)

 

 

**why is there so much to learn about how to talk i dont understand**  
**why do teachers talk so much waffley crap**  
**its ironic**

Are you in class?

**yes**

Concentrate!

**but im bored**  
**noones watching me its fine**  
**i could wank over here very loudly and noone would give two shits**

Please don't wank in class Jean BECAUSE YOU WILL BE NOTICED

**doubt it**  
**but ill restrain the urge**  
**although hot teacher**

NO Jean  
Do the work and- stop texting me!

**youre replying**

Well  
Whatever. Not my fault you texted me first. But now stop

**urrrrrrgh you suck**  
**Freckles help im bored seriously this sucks balls man**  
**dont ignore me you dick**  
**look im out of class now**  
**ok so im not but please**  
**im desperate**  
**fucking hell the teacher has a nice voice but its grating on my nerves through sheer boredom**  
**now im actually out of class im at lunch you can talk to me now please**  
**fuck youre at work now arent you**  
**urgh how dare you have a job**  
**loser**

Jesus Jean how bored were you? How did you not get caught texting either

**i told you noone was paying any attention at all to me**  
**everyone was literally half asleep i think**  
**even the ta looked bored out of his brains**

You still shouldn't have done it

**oh yeah Freckles like youre well behaved**

I might not be perfect but I still don't piss around in class

**huh of course**  
**you might be a goody goody but there is no way youre innocent**

I wouldn't say innocent, no  
Anyway some of us need to actually work for our grades we can't just soak in facts like some sort of  
ambient learning sponge

**i am not even going to pretend i know what that means**

To be honest neither do I  
I just kind of said it

**so do you want to skype**

Yeah, sounds good  
I'm just doing some work so a distraction whilst I'm doing it is welcome

**thanks**

**< NotJohnOrGene is online>**

<FreckledGaytheSecond is online>

**got headphones**

Yep! Audio call or video chat? :)

**i can video if you want**

Got over your shyness then? ;)

**fuck off**

Awwwh don't be mean

**fine**

<Incoming video call from FreckledGaytheSecond>

**< Accept or Decline>**

**< NotJohnOrGene accepted the call>**

**< Press the red button to terminate the call>**

**< Press the Camera Button to turn off video>**

***A hand moves away from the camera, and a blond young man grins lopsided, face extremely close to**  
**the screen.***  
**"Hey, Freckles."**

*A bright light illuminates a freckled cheek and a mop of dark hair on the left side. The rest of the  
room appears to be in complete darkness. He bites his lip, then smiles.*  
"Hey, Jean. You okay?"

**"Yeah, I'm good thanks. What are you doing, an essay or revision?"**

*Fingers run through a messy fringe, pushing the inky strands back on top of Marco's head.*  
"Hmpf, revision. I've got a test next week. 'Milestone assessment' apparently. What milestone we've  
reached I have no idea."

**"Unlucky, dude. I'm on a pretty damn easy week - Barely had anything, but I bet that means all the**  
**teachers are planning something huuuuge."**  
***He sits back in his chair, leg propped up on the edge of the desk. His bare foot is visible.***

*A groan, followed by a pen being stabbed in the air in front of the camera.*  
"Do /not/ talk to me about huge things being planned."

***A snort, hastily muffled by a hand thrown across Jean's mouth.***  
**"Sorry, it's just- huge things- I'm sorry, I- that was hilarious, man."**

*A soft laugh. A small blush reddens the one lit cheek, hidden by the blotchy freckles.*  
"You've spent too long around Connie, Jean."

**"You only just realised? Shit, man, I thought you were more observant than that."**

"I am! I just, didn't like, /mention/ anything."

**"Uh huh, right."**

"Don't raise your eyebrows like that, Jean, I can see you this time!"

***Jean moves close to the camera again, wriggling both his eyebrows.***  
**"Hey, you know Freckles, I know something else that's a huge thing. Namely, my d-"**

" _Jean_."

***Jean sits back down in his chair***  
**"Whaaat, I was going to say..."**  
***He bites his lower lip, then lets it slide out from his teeth slowly.***  
**"Dog."**

"Jean, do you even own a dog? Have you ever?"

**"Er- I don't currently? Did when I was little though."**

"I didn't think you do somehow."

**"Oi, piss off. By the way, what's on your t-shirt?"**

*A hand pulls the front of the t-shirt taut.*  
"Sex Pistols' God Save the Queen album logo, why?"

**"The Sex Pistols', that's fucking well why! You like punk?"**

"Yeah, kind of. I prefer more rocky stuff."  
*The t-shirt is released and Marco grins softly.*

**"Classic or modern?"**

"My Chemical Romance were awesome but Queen holds my heart, if that's a good enough answer for  
you."

***A hand is pressed to a skinny chest, and Jean mimes swooning.***  
**"Freckles, marry me. Your taste in music is excellent."**

"I wouldn't say excellent."

***Jean raises one eyebrow.***  
**"But you'll marry me?"**

"Jean, I said, I've gotta be dated in full wine and dine fashion first."

**"Fine, fine. But as far as I remember you'll put out on the first date, right?"**

*Marco's blush returns.*  
"Jean, you're gross!"

**"Yep, gross is my middle name."**

"I doubt that somehow."

**"Well no, my middle name is Marius but-"**

*A slow smirk tips one side of his lips up, and an eyebrow quirks."  
"Your name is Jean Marius- like, for real?"

***Jean frowns, nose scrunching.***  
**"I swear to God, Freckles, if you say anything else I will literally murder you and make sure that no-one**  
**finds the body."**

"Uh huh, 24601, and my name is actually Javert."  
*He flings his hands into the air dramatically on the last word.*

**"You are dead, you are so dead-"**

"I'm sorry, Jean, you knew it was coming!"  
*A splutter of laughter and Marco's head tilted back, jawline harsh in the lamplight.*

**"I'm going to ignore the blatant innuendo there."**

"That's for the best. At least you can say your name isn't Enjolras or... Valjean."  
*His voice deepens on the final word, in a mock French accent.*

**"I'm not actually from Les Mis, my ma just has a crap sense of humour and a crush the side of I don't**  
**even know on Marius."**

"Unlucky."

**"Don't even fucking go there, man, everyone who's ever seen Les Mis makes the joke. Everyone."**

"Les Mis is excellent."  
*An exaggerated frown, followed by a widening grin.*  
"I dreamed a dreaaaaaaam of tiiiiiiiiiiiiime goooooooooooooooooone byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-"

**"When hope was high and life worth living, I know, Freckles, trust me."**

"Ah but Jean, can you sing it?"  
*A palm laid against a jawbone in sharp relief from the side lighting."

***A middle finger directly in front of the screen.***  
**"Nah, fuck off Freckles."**

"But Jeaaaaaaan... That wasn't a no!"

***The middle finger waves at the camera pointedly.***

"I was only joking."

**"I know, but... I... I'm just not doing I Dreamed A Dream, I can't go that high."**

"Then, another one! Can you sing then? I kind of assumed..."

**"Wow, you assume I'm bad automatically? What sort of fucker are you?"**  
***The lopsided grin reappears, and his eyebrows knit in mock shock.***

*An exaggerated pout.*  
"Awh, you baby, I didn't mean it. Now stop stalling and get singing! You're dragging this out waaay too  
much, Jean. What're you hiding?"

**"Nothing. It's just embarrassing."**  
***A blush making its way across his cheeks and eyes cast down, he clears his throat.***  
**"I'll... I can do, 'At the End of the Day'."**

*A soft sigh.*  
"That one's powerful."

***A shaky intake of breath, and Jean straightens in his chair. He closes his eyes, then looks directly into**  
**the camera.***  
**"...At the end of the day you're another day older, and that's all you can say for the life of the poor. It's a**  
**struggle, it's a war, and there's nothing that anyone's giving, one more day standing about, what is it for-**  
**one day less to be living."**  
***His chest heaves from the force of his voice.***

*A blank stare and lips cracked open.*

**"M-Marco? Hello?"**  
***A tilt to his head and a small wave.***

"O-Oh, no, I'm fine. Just, Jean, wow? You're incredible!"

**"Thanks. I mean, I prefer proper songs, but I can't really... not? Sing Les Mis? Living with my ma, I**  
**mean."**

"I know what you mean, but... Well obviously, not the singing bit, I sing like I've got a dead frog living in  
my throat, but the required skill bit. My dad's a mechanic, so I can take apart an engine. Bit of a grease  
monkey, me."

**"I can kind of see that, to be honest. D-Did you really like my voice?"**

"Yeah, Jean! It's so powerful, Jesus. Is singing the West End a hidden passion of yours?"

" **I... may have a stash of musical programmes in my drawer, yes."**

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyo- Oh, hi, Annie."  
*He turns, facing someone off camera. Their words are unintelligible.*  
"No, I can help- What? Oh, right."  
*He faces the camera again, tilting it to face the rest of the room. It is lit by a series of lamps. A blonde  
girl stands in the doorway, eyebrow raised.*  
"Annie, do you remember Jean?"

***A groan, and Jean's head falls into his hands. His words are muffled but comprehensible.***  
**"You have the speakers on, don't you."**

*A sheepish grin, and Marco's hand rubs the back of his neck, gesturing with the other to the girl in the  
doorway.*  
"Um... Maybe?"

***Another, louder groan. Jean lifts his head from his hands.***  
**"I am never going to live this down."**

*The girl stalks up to the camera*  
"I really don't give a shit, but I need to borrow Marco. If you don't mind. Reiner broke the microwave  
again."

**"Erm... No problem? I guess...?"**

*She nods once.*  
"Good."  
*A wave, and a smile.*  
"Er, bye Jean! Nice talking to you."

**"You too, Freckles. Tschuss."**

"Ah, tschuss!"

<FreckledGaytheSecond has quit the video call>

<Video call disconnected>

<FreckledGaytheSecond is offline>

**< NotJohnOrGene is offline>**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the MASSIVE FUCKING DELAY but I wrote a 12k thing for my friend for their birthday and that kind of consumed my life for a few weeks

**so how did reiner break the microwave  
** **that is how you spell reiner right**

Yep, that’s right!   
He put a plastic plate in there, even though he knows not to  
It’s definitely deliberate now

**huh he sounds like a riot**   
**but what did he do the first time i seem to remember an ‘again’ in there**

Oh, he left his cutlery in the bowl

**not  that exciting then**

Not really, it’s just annoying  
I’m used to it by now

**happen a lot at your place?**

Unsurprisingly, yes

**never wouldve guessed**

Don’t be sarcastic

**youre telling /me/ not to be sarcastic**   
**thats like telling me not to be me**   
**i am the embodiment of sarcasm and cynicism**

That’s a big word JJ  
Well done!

**now youre being a dick**   
**im not sure if i like you**

Ah, no, you love me! I’m lovely  
<Incoming image file: 3564483.jpg>

**cut the bullshit and the pout Freckles you arent cute**

Really??? :(

**i thought i said cut the pout jesus**  
**youre hot but pouting makes you look  
** **well its not a look i want to be sent without warning**

Oh really  
<Incoming image file: 16832732.jpg>

**dude what are you trying to prove**

Honestly I’m not sure it’s way too late for me to be thinking rationally

**its midnight ish what  
** **is that late for you**

Not particularly but I’m pretty exhausted  
I’ve had a lot work piled on me  
And having to deal with Reiner is tiring  
And trying to stop the place burning down  
And trying to stop Reiner going on a rampage to get to Nandos as an alibi in case we did burn the place down

**nandos?? really?**

Yeah, I wish I was kidding. I’m outside a kebab shop now, we left nandos about an hour ago  
<Incoming image file: 2632627.jpg>

**nice hoodie**

Thanks I got it on some school trip a few years ago

**so which one’s reiner?**

The blond one is Reiner, the dark haired tall one is Bert

**why does he look terrified?**

He always looks terrified, it’s his natural expression  
The fact that Reiner just stormed his way into the kebab shop very loudly and impolitely isn’t helping though

**life is never boring with you is it**

And you’re going to be subject to my chronicling of it all :

**is that even a word**

What? Chronicling? It is now if it wasn’t before

**right then… you do that Freckles**   
**Freckles? you okay?**

Oh right, yeah I’m fine  
I had to get us a taxi since Reiner didn’t want to walk home in case we got mugged

**Freckles.**   
**you are the type of people that normal people are afraid will mug them**   
**you are all tall and muscly and 20 ish**   
**except annie but shes fucking scary anyway**   
**why is he scared**   
**muggers will take one look at you and scarper**

Well, you try telling that to the guy yourself then  
He’s trying to protect Bert I think

**im good**   
**and not annie?**

He knows what she can do  
She’s a black belt

**in what?**

Everything  
I don’t even know how to count that high I don’t think  
Her speciality is judo as far as I remember

**shiiiiit**

She is quite handy in that respect  
I can pull some pretty vicious moves now

**i would want to be pinned by you**   
**i wouldnt!!**   
**i wouldnt want to be pinned by you**   
**youd be fucking heavy jesus christ**

You’re barely shorter than I am

**im a weed**   
**and youre not a weed**

I suppose so  
I’ll have to teach you some of the moves! or get Annie to

**im sure youd be a great teacher**

Maybe of how to body slam someone  
Not teaching little kids though

**eh i think youd be pretty good**

I don’t think so  
I’m too much of a push over

**nah youre not  
** **you call me out on my bullshit**

That’s different  
I don’t like being mean to kids

**i feel like i should be kind of offended but i cant tell why**

You don’t need to feel offended! You’re not a kid

**true  
** **i am very much an adult**

As am I  
An adult who needs to sleep like woah

**are you back home then**

Yep, just got in

**well  
** **night then Freckles**

Night Jean

****  
  
  
  
  


Hey  
So  
I was thinking  
And don’t take this the wrong way, you don’t have to answer  
But  
You must either go to Trost Uni or the Regional College since you stay in this area  
I go to the Uni  
(And I’ve never seen you? How)  
Which do you go to?

**trost uni too**  
**second year**  
**i reckon ive seen you before i just havent paid attention to you  
** **you were just another student you know**

It’s just, I’d have thought I’d remember you  
Your look is… distinctive

**the look is… not new**  
**i tried to be rebellious as a 16 year old**  
**ive had the piercings and the tattoo for a while**  
**but i hid them from my old girlfriend last year**  
**she was crazy now i think about it**  
**after we broke up she started spreading shit me**  
**not bad shit just private shit**  
**um…**  
**sex shit especially**  
**so i just**  
**embraced the leather  
** **and the punk stuff came with that**

Oh… oh.. right. I get it  
That’s… yeah  
Very private information

**she was definitely a crazy bitch  
** **not my weirdest girlfriend though**

So who was the weirdest?

**i was, what, 15, and going through the whole ‘what the fuck why are guys hot too’ thing and decided i needed a girlfriend**  
**the only girl i could ask and not have to worry about her saying no was the class slut**  
**you know the type**  
**who talked about being fingered at 12**  
**makeup an inch thick and tits up to her eyeballs  
** **that sort**

I remember the type yeah

**well she said yes**  
**because i was actually pretty hot for a lanky 15 year old im not going to lie**  
**and she wanted to fuck me**  
**i was terrified and said yes, but had NO IDEA what to do so googled everything  
** **only she came round to my house after some party the class popular guy had held as drunk as fuck and tried to suck my dick**

Tried?

**she failed miserably**  
**i had no idea she was going to turn up so was in my fucking boxers and had no shirt on**  
**sleep clothes**  
**and she just fucking launched herself at me**  
**i couldnt get off and thats saying something since i was 15 and anything gets you off at 15**  
**it was the terror getting to me i think**  
**but i pulled her off me and sent her home**  
**anyway after that i broke it off with her and she started sending me love letters which said how much she missed my dick  
** **for a month**

Shiiit that’s weird  
Is that all of your girlfriends?

**nah i had 2 more but they werent special or anything  
** **have you got a boyfriend now?**

Erm, nope. However much I wish I did, I don’t

**im single too**

We should meet up

**wait what the fuck**

NOt for anything weird!  
I just thought  
You know  
We talk so often  
We might as well

**yeah**  
**yeah i think we should  
** **when**

When are you free for a few hours

**its saturday tomorrow  
** **we could do tomorrow**

I can do tomorrow :)

**lets do tomorrow then**

Do you want to do anything in particular?

**not really**  
**i want to meet you  
** **do you know where you can meet me?**

I have a friend who works in a milkshake bar, she can get us cheap drinks

**what, jakes shakes?**

That’s the one!

**do you know hitch then?**

Only because she’s Marlow’s girlfriend  
It is /really/ weird that we know the same people

**nah i dont think so  
** **this place isnt huge**

I guess not  
So what time is good for you

**2?**

Sounds great! I’ll meet you outside Jake’s at 2 :)

**see you then Freckles**


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the shorter than usual and later than expected update but I had mocks and gift exchanges to write please don't hurt me  
> HOWEVER  
> Next update should be soon! (Comments fuel me and help me make this monstrosity better, please tell me if the prose in this sounds too weird/is offputting)

**so are we still ok for today**

Yeah! I’m fine with it

 **dont laugh** ****  
**but ive got to ask** ****  
**is this a situation where i wear jeans** ****  
**or should i** ****  
**you know** **  
** **look a bit neater**

Jean  
It’s only a milkshake cafe   
Wear what you feel comfortable in   
If that’s hipster jeans and glasses, I won’t judge! Promise ;)

 **I will not be in fucking fake glasses what the hell** **  
** **you sir are an a* arsehole you know that right**

I take pride in it, thank you!

 **dick?** **  
** ***!**

Yes, I do have a dick

 **no shit** ****  
**weve had this discussion before** **  
** ***pending message deleted***

Huh? Jean, what was that?

**dont worry i meant to send that to someone else**

Oh, okay!

 

 

 

**connie**

yeah man what you need  
are you after weed again

 **nah im good** ****  
**but** **  
** **how soon is too soon to ask for dick pics**

jean  
my friend   
you aren’t dating him yet   
wait are you?????????

 **we might be going out on a date in two hours** **  
** **and i might be freaking RIGHT the fuck out**

AND I WASN’T TOLD   
WHAT KIND OF A FRIEND ARE YOU

 **one who didnt realise they were being asked out** **  
** **and still isnt entirely sure but is rolling with it anyway**

how can you not know

 **trust me i can not know** **  
** **i dont know now**

if he tries to kiss you it’s a date

**kind of need to know before then**

eh youll work it out

**and you were sooo much help thanks**

  


 

Sasha I’m too early and I’m panicking   
I’m supposed to be meeting Jean in 20 minutes   
And I   
What do I do

_kk babe where r u_

Outside Jake’s Shakes, panicking

_i can b there in 10 if u want_

No! I’m good  
I just need reassurance

_what r u wearing?_

<Incoming file: 146272.png>  
This? Too… casual?

 _nah M u look hot_   
_mmmmmmmm those thighs in those jeans man what hav u been up 2_   
_i need 2 kno ur wrkout routine_ _  
_ i also need jesus immediately

How can you spell immediately but not you  
Anyway   
That’s pervy and not helpful

 _ok ok_   
_u look fine_   
_jeanll want 2 eat u_   
_I want 2 eat u tbh_ _  
_ good choice on the tshirt its nice and small

I didn’t think it was that small!?

 _oh i thought u were going for that on purpose_   
_suits u_ _  
_ why r u all in black tho

It’s a long story....

_a long story like the thing with the tat and the piercing_

Maybe

 _ok then_   
_i meant tell me dick_ _  
_ not like just fuckng leave me hanging

Ok, fine  
So I called him a hipster   
And he tries to make out he’s punk   
So I’m going to out-punk him

 _M_   
_M my dear_   
_u already outpunk him_   
_u hav a tongue piercing_   
_and swear words tatted on you_   
_4eva_   
_black ink_ _  
_ u cannot b more punk

My hair is normally coloured

 _atm_ _  
_ _im like 400% sure it was blu last yr_

Maybe

_i thought so_

Don’t patronise me Sash, you knew full well  
You were there   
You started it in the first place

_the barcelona thing was not my fault_

Uh huh, of course not  
And shit   
Shithitshitshitshit   
He’s coming Sash I can see him coming down the road

 _just remember 2 breathe idiot_   
_M ull b fine_ _  
_ relax hav fun suck his dick

Not helping Sasha

_i kno_

 

 

Two young men sit at a table, looking too tall and too old to be drinking milkshakes at 2 in the afternoon. The taller is all in black, with rumpled, unstyled hair and dirty combat boots. The other wears a beanie, a grey hoodie and a crooked smile, drumming his fingers against the red plastic covering on the table in an offhand manner. Both stand out from the American 50s theme, dark against the whites and reds checkering the interior. They complement each other, though, and the other customers sneak glances and talk behind their hands, pointing and gossiping about the two young men who are so very out of place.

“So,” the shorter, Jean, asks, playing with his straw with one hand and still drumming with the other, “How’s your pink monstrosity?”

The taller, Marco, rolls his eyes and his piercing with his tongue simultaneously. “It’s raspberry, not just coloured pink.” He points towards Jean’s drink, waving vaguely at the stripes of blue sauce layering the inside of the cup. “And at least mine’s somewhat normal. I don’t want to _know_ what’s in that shit.”

Both ignore the glares coming from the table beside them at the cuss, where a family of four with two young children are all squashed into one booth. They’ve already garnered enough of them from the way Marco has his legs stretched out onto one of two spare chairs at their table, ankles crossed one over the other.

Jean laughs. “It’s bubblegum, I think.”

“I don’t believe it for a second.” Marco retorts. “It’s just vanilla ice-cream mixed with milk and some chemical that makes things blue.”

“Some chemical? What, like an additive? Or are we talking copper sulfate type blue chemical.”

Marco takes a sip of his drink, then laces his fingers behind his head. His eyes track the way Jean’s linger on the bulge of biceps under his t-shirt.

“Bet you sound hot when you talk science proper.” The words aren’t blurted, but they are an admission, and both know it.

There’s a silence after his words between the two of them. The rest of the room is still full of bustling sound, whistling and clanging and talking and laughter. But between the two there is stillness, and quiet, and a heated, boiling tension.

 

(There are still no words when the tension snaps. But it isn’t instant.)

 

(It starts to bend.) Jean ceases to drum his fingers. Instead, he reaches to grab Marco’s arm and pulls it towards his body.

A involuntary hiss of pain slides from Marco’s lips as his arm is wrenched from its previous position, but it is bitten off and strangled before it even reaches the air properly. Jean smiles, wide and toothy but full of mischief. (And it bends a little further.)

Jean runs his fingers down the inner skin of Marco’s forearm, fingering around the leather band entwined around his wrist, resting over prominent veins and freckled skin.

(It’s creaking now, straining at the edge of the prepice it’s hovering over.)

They are so close together now that the family on the other table are tutting and frowning, whilst the two girls sat shoulder to shoulder at the back of the shop are grinning, whispering behind their menus.

(It’s being held taut, but can’t hold on.)

Marco isn’t breathing. Jean is breathing too heavily, eyes wide with a mix of exhilaration and anxiety.

There’s a bang as Marco’s legs are kicked off the chair they’re resting on by Jean.

(It snaps, and it’s a deep lungful of air after straying too deep underwater.)

Wrist wrenched from Jean’s grip as he sits bolt upright, Marco frowns, then laughs. He climbs to his feet and pulls Jean up with him, and they leave what is left of their drinks on the table as they make for the door.

It swings shut, cutting off the sound of their laughter, and the blonde woman working at the counter smiles to herself, just a little.

  


**i had fun today** ****  
**so** ****  
**erm** **  
** **thanks**

Same! We should meet up again sometime

**can you do next weekend as well?**

I should be fine to! :)

 **good** ****  
**maybe you could come to mine** ****  
**Freckles?** **  
** **its okay you dont have to or anything**

No, no, it’s fine!   
Where do you live?

 **rosa dorms** ****  
**room 3.4** **  
** **ill kick eren out**

Oh, okay  
I’ll talk to you later, I should do some work

 **sure** **  
** **bye Freckles**

Bye JJ ****


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you know what I’m fucking proud of this one   
> I try to be funny I swear   
> Also might be posting a few doodles on flickeringflames-ofwriting (my tumblr where i fic/art) to go with this so look out of that. :)

_ So _ __   
_ M babe _ __   
_ you _ __   
_ must _ __   
_ tell  _ __   
_ me _ __   
_ EVERYTHNG EVERY DETAIL _ __   
_ or  _ __   
_ i  _ __   
_ will _ __   
_ kill u _ __   
_ slowly _ _   
_ __ and painfully

Sheesh Sasha, I will!   
What do you even want to know?

_ does everything mean nothin 2 u _

That’s really unhelpful you know

_ i kno _ __   
_ now spill all hon _ _   
_ __ did u kiss him???????????? ;*

No!    
No no we just met up at Jake’s and talked, then he looked at my wrist at the new tattoo, then we sat in the Bridge’s Mill by the river for a bit because we were being glared at in Jake’s

_ uh huh i so believ u rn _ __   
_ there was def a steamy as fuuuuck make out sesh by the river i bet  _ _   
_ __ im willin to lose actual cash here

Well you just lost cash   
We didn’t kiss, I swear   
Trust me I’d not be texting you right now if he’d kissed me

_ M babe i luv u but i didnt need 2 kno that _ __   
_ we all ////kno/// ur a kinky bastard _ _   
_ __ but im p sure not even u wuld still be fucking after that long

I’m not a kinky bastard! What the hell!

_ u’d suuuuuck, his diiiick~ _ __   
_ dont deny ittt _ __   
_ uhhh ooOOOoooh _ __   
_ u probs wouldnt b on a beeeeeedddddd _ __   
_ i will sing it M trust me _ _   
_ __ u kno my love for disney tunes

Sasha can we not talk about my NON-existent sex-life with Jean please

_ ok fine whatevs _ _   
_ _ but u flirted w/ him right  _

Kind of? I think so 

_ M wtf do u mean _ __   
_ how do u /kind of/ flirt _ __   
_ ur like  _ __   
_ ~the flirt master~ _ _   
_ __ i kno u remember

I don’t know, maybe because I actually like him and he doesn’t date guys? So I’m just… trying not to, but it’s happening anyway

_ hes never said he doesnt d8 guys tho _

Not in that many words but he’s implied it pretty strongly

_ ur just pissed he didnt kiss u arent u!!!! o i knew it _ _   
_ _ y didnt u kiss him???? _

I am not that easy Sash

_ is this some weird macho punk boy thing that i will never get cuz i face my problems properly _

Probably

_ tell me u told him about the piercing at least?????????? _

That’s where the “kind of” comes in

_ oh _ __   
_ oooooh _ __   
_ oooOOOOOOH _ _   
_ __ OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH HHHO HO 

  
  


 

so how was the date?

**ARGH**

went well then i take it

**hes so hot urgh how is he real** ****  
**con he has a tongue piercing** **  
** **i didnt realise until he started wrapping his tongue around that fucking straw and now i cant get the image out of my fucking head and its kiLLING ME**

yeah i knew about the tongue thing    
sasha thinks its hilarious   
apparently he only puts it in when he’s tryin to get laaaaaid

**please dont tell me that**

like you dont want him

**ive spent 3 hours trying to convince myself i dont please dont say that con**

did you make out?

**huh yeah i wish** **  
** **nope**

unlucky   
is it awkward between you now?

**nah we still talk fine** **  
** **i might have invited him around to mine next weekend**

if you don’t do something then i will lock you two in a cupboard just see if i don’t   
i’m so fed up of your whining man get over yourself and your fucking no homo

**ok ok jesus man** ****  
**ill** **  
** **ill kiss him ok**

i’m glad. maybe you’ll stop whining at me!

**dick**

knobhead

**bastard**

fuckweasel

**what?**

i don’t know sasha uses it all the time. i don’t ask

  
  
  


 

**hey Freckles**

Hi Jean! You okay?

**yeah yeah im good man** ****  
**just bored and erens out so im talking to you** **  
** **not interrupting you am i?**

Nah, I’m just doing some coursework   
I’m definitely more bored than you are 

**wicked** ****  
**so anyway i wanted to ask you about the tongue piercing** **  
** **and the tattoo**

Um okay?   
Which first?

**definitely the piercing** **  
** **why the FUCK do you have a tongue piercing?**

Basically because it’s hot and I’m very gay

**good answer but not helpful**

“I can pick up guys in clubs so much quicker once I put it in because it’s like a boys-in-need-of-a-blowjob magnet” - logic a la drunk me   
I never meant to get it done but I was drunk and the arsehole working in the shop thought it was funny to serve drunk 17 year olds   
Look smashed off his face 17 year old me was not the smartest okay

**you rebel you, drinking before youre 18 and getting piercings!**

Don’t forget the tattoos at 16 and 17 and the marathon sex on my 16th

**ok now im interested how the everloving fuck did you actually manage to get laid on your 16th HOW** ****  
**i mean im not convinced it was marathon sex but i know you** **  
** **you wouldnt lie about that kind of shit**

No   
It wasn’t exaggeration either   
I… had a boyfriend, in secret because he was still in the closet. We were...   
Well together we’d already messed around a bit   
The sex was kind of a birthday present

**is this why sasha calls you kinky all the time** ****  
**what does she know** ****  
**what did she see?** **  
** **she must be scarred**

Too much

**aaaand thats really really fucking telling** ****  
**get it?** **  
** **fucking?**

You JJ, are terrible at puns

**i thank you, i thank you** ****  
**my thanks to my ma who taught me well** ****  
**she has the most MArvellous collection of puns - the ultimate motherlode** **  
** **im doing the finger guns thing because you cant see me and i thought you should know this**

Do you ever stop?

**nope** ****  
**and i noticed you have two tattoos** **  
** **you liar you said you have one**

Change the subject Jean why don’t you   
And yeah I got one done recently

**that must be the one on your wrist right?**

The wrist is new yep   
I was going to tell you but I figured I’d show you instead   
Got it done about a fortnight ago

**what did it say? the words were too small to read**

‘Because Fuck It I’m Made Of Goddamn Stardust’ in the shape of the infinity symbol

**well its certainly fucking distinctive** **  
** **you fucking hipster**

I thought we had a truce JJ

**fine fine whatever** ****  
**but seriously where is the other one im so confused** **  
** **is it wrapped around your dick or something?**

Not quite

**holy SHIT Freckles**

Okay look, I’m fed up of you complaining   
I’ll be right back

**what? im confused** ****  
**Freckles what are you doing?** **  
** **Marco?**

<Incoming file: 2683334.png>   
Here   
Happy?

**HOLY SHIT** ****  
**holy** ****  
**motherfucking** ****  
**shitbricks** **  
** **erdytcf ug vbkh# nmui ew777777777 7777777777777777 ejbs ghkehv wdh cjhcwhj w**

Jean…? The hell?

**fucking christ Freckles dont do that to me** ****  
**i was expecting like a picture of your lower back or something not your inNER THIGHS WHAT THE FUCK FRECKLES** **  
** **warn a guy fucking hell**

It goes from there across part of my butt to my tailbone

**what from the bottom of your arse?**

You want to see?   
Jean? You gone?   
Okay, okay, I’m sorry, was that creepy??   
Jean??

**no no its cool** ****  
**no i dont mind seeing** ****  
**we’re besties right its all good** ****  
**im totally on board and cool with this plan** **  
** **no problem**

Okay…   
<Incoming file: 56789.png>   
Sorry if the image is a bit wonky, I don’t want to scar Bert permanently so had to take it myself   
What do you think?

**right okay yes that is your butt** **  
** **you have a pool of freckles on your lower back did you know that**

Yes

**shit dude** ****  
**that must have hurt like a bitch what the fuck** **  
** **dude how did you stand that**

It was quite embarrassing… But hey I was pretty smashed so whatever. I have a bad feeling that I just flirted with the artist constantly throughout the session

**was he cute**

I don’t particularly remember because you know, I was drunk   
And I flirt with everything when I’m drunk   
But probably   
I like to think I have standards JJ 

**same but whatever the question is really did he flirt back** **  
** **and didnt you say something ages ago about arseholes being attractive? ;)**

I… highly doubt he flirted back   
And yes, but that’s not important

**awh Freckles** **  
** **no need to deny your lust for guys with a good eyebrow raise and a hard stare**

You need to shut up

**and see thats where you really cant stop me** **  
** **you like your guys with a sharp tongue yeah**

Jeaaaaaan please stop 

**never Freckles**

Look I’m not weird why are you pushing this

**no reason why would there be a reason what**

Seriously Jean

**no there is no reason**

Riiiiiight…   
Anyway I’m heading out to the Walls so I’m going to be cycling   
Don’t expect me to text

**ah ok** **  
** **i expect selfies of you hanging off something lethal**

I’ll try

**dont fall and die Freckles**

Don’t blow yourself up JJ

  
  
  


<Incoming file: this-idiot-is-breaking-himself-for-this-i-hope-you-appreciate-it.png>

<Incoming file: marco-owes-me-cake-for-this.png>

<Incoming file: hes-blowing-a-kiss-for-the-camera-but-i-dont-think-he-realises-i-took-the-picture.png>

<Incoming file: these-are-the-most-terrifying-walls-ive-seen-him-on-ever.png>

<Incoming file: no-one-does-this-route-unless-theyre-mad-hes-on-his-fingernails.png>

<Incoming file: here-have-his-butt-sorry-its-blurred-but-this-is-revenge-for-him-landing-on-me.png>

<Incoming file: this-idiot-has-chalk-on-his-face.png>

<Incoming file: if-he-dies-by-falling-off-a-series-of-giant-red-balls-im-blaming-both-of-you.png>

<Incoming file: marco-told-me-to-tell-you-that-hes-auditioning-for-total-wipeout-because-he-can-balance-on-big-red-balls-hanging-from-the-ceiling-so-ones-in-the-ground-would-be-a-walk-in-the-park-and-he-would-win-the-ten-grand-easy.png>

<Incoming file: your-boyfriend-is-literally-upside-down-and-still-grinning-hes-a-freak.png>

<Incoming file: and-now-hes-stripped-his-shirt-off-so-i-figured-you-might-want-to-see-this-even-if-hes-not-paying-attention.png>   
  
Hey, this is Franz, I’m Marco’s climbing partner. He’s made me lay on my back under this overhang to get a picture of him showing off and flexing and I really didn’t need to know this much about your sexting antics. So in future, tell you boyfriend to keep it in private, yeah?

**mate what the fuck we’re not dating** ****  
**but** **  
** **thanks**

Oh, really? I just thought… Oh. Sorry. But you might want to talk to Marco then. :)

**erm? dude explain** **  
** **youre franz right franz tell me**

I better stop texting, it’s my turn to climb and I’m probably using up Marco’s credit or texts or something. Have fun with those pictures!

**the fuck is wrong with you man**

  
  


 

Jean I’m sorry about Franz   
He tends to see couples in everyone and yeah he doesn’t particularly have a brain/mouth filter sometimes

**nah its cool im not fussed** ****  
**hes a good photographer** **  
** **there werent any selfies though**

Do you really think I can when I’m not attached into ropes and I’m still 9ft in the air?

**true true** **  
** **lots of big red balls there**

Yep   
Some big blue ones as well   
The balls are the hardest to hold onto

**oh really now** **  
** **but clearly youre experienced enough to handle them properly**

Definitely qualified to handle some balls

**cant say ive ever climbed on any balls myself**

None at all? Never thought about    
coming along?

**maybe i should come and climb some balls with you**

Ah JJ I’d just be watching you fall ;)

**youd catch me though right**

You’d be so light compared to some of the people I’ve lifted up before

**caught many boys have you?**

I’ve had a guy’s thighs wrapped around my head before

**uM**

Yeah I had him on my shoulders so he could see better at a concert :)   
He wasn’t that small

**hmmmmm right ok!** ****  
**okay** **  
** **i have to go now so yes yes bye nmmmubhyvt687im,ijjn**

Jean?   
I’ll talk to you later, yeah?

**yep cool fine whatever you fucking well want yess**


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, short chapter, but this was originally going to contain a prose section but I'm just making that a whole new chapter as it's essentially the climax of the entire story.   
> eren = italics and underlined

******hey Freckles  
so you still up for tomorrow?**

Definitely! What time are you thinking?

**im free whenever  
depends on what you want to do or whatever**

I don't mind. Film?

**fuck yeah ive got loads  
dodgy downloads are the best  
want to find something to marathon?**

Only if there are plenty of explosions involved

**i take it not bad teen high school films from the nineties then**

That's weirdly specific, and no, I'm good thanks

**damn i was looking forwards to mean girls**

Awh JJ we can still watch Mean Girls if you want to!

**no**

;) I know you love it

**ill stick to explosions  
marvel okay with you then**

My thing for Chris Evans is beaten only by my thing for Erwin Smith

**who the fuck is erwin smith**

He's an England rugby player

**do you have a thing for buff dudes?**

Nah not really  
Smith is just fucking hot

**wait im googling him**

Jealous JJ?

**why  
why /wouldnt/ i be jealous?**

I was kidding JJ

**so was i  
also he isnt that hot  
hes got a weirdly thin face without his gumshield in**

I guess so  
He's not your type then  
Anyway, yeah, a Marvel marathon is good by me

**i can see how hes attractive but i just like brunettes  
cool ill get snacks   
you drink beer?**

Yeah beer is fine

**nice thats basically the only drink i have except water or maybe some vodka  
and cider? I just found some cider**

Don't worry, they're all good by me

**cool  
wait we never sorted out a time**

Oh right! Um... How long is Eren going to be gone for?

**hes at armins all day and staying overnight  
so im free all weekend basically  
come round for lunch ill feed you**

Food and films, I'm sold  
I'll come over about 12ish?

**thats fine yeah  
ive got to head out so ill see you tomorrow **

See you tomorrow Jean

**tchuss**

  
  


**eren i need to ask you a favour**

_ wut do u want ponyboy _

**can you go to armins at the weekend**

__ sure but why  
omg r u getting laid??? u r!!!!  
who is she???? ;) 

**thats the thing right  
its a guy  
his name is marco and i kinda like him so i need you to clear off for the weekend**

__ armins fine w/ it btw so yeah i can leave u alone  
get u ponyboy maybe ull actually get ridden 4 once  
lol maybe ull b the 1 doing the riding 

**ill make him ride me on your bed since you and that professor dude left jizz all over mine that one time**

_ i didnt mean 2 i swear  
it was payback from another time anyway i think _

**no it wasnt  
i hadnt done anything in ages**

_ im like 4000% sure ud have done somethin _

**im like a million percent sure i hadnt but fuck off im not arguing with you**

_ maybe i should pop in and see how u & marcoooo r doing  _

**NO!!**

_ that seals it i will b there about 7 ish in the evening  
wait when am i supposed 2 go 2 armins how good is your stamina _

**im going to ignore that last bit (my stamina is fucking excellent and definitely better than yours) but marco is coming around for food about 12 tomorrow and yeah, maybe i will be getting laid so stay the fuck away okay?**

_ never!! u cannot make me!! i have a key!!!! _

**im giving your key to armin**

_ he wuld b on my side _

**i doubt that**

_ he would _

**thats it im taking marco out  
im staying safe from your nosy arse**

__so cruel!  
fine ill b good  
ill leave u in peace all day  
maybe not at night but all day

**i can deal with that  
thanks**

__ im screen shotting that  
U thanked ME   
ur never living this down. 

**fuck off**

  
  


_ u really like him. dont u. _

**yeah. i really do**

  
  


Sasha  
Is it okay to fuck on the second date?

_i dont kno i dont date_

You're really unhelpful and passive aggressive

_so r u  
just snog him ur indecision hurts_

I'm TRYING

_give me his number im gonna talk 2 him_

No! Hell no!

_spoilsport_

  
  


**are your friends as cruel as my friends**

Half of my friends are your friends or are dating your friends  
Yes, yes they are

**they keep ruining my Vikings marathon by sending me snapchats and texts**

Bless, sounds like a hard life  
Also Vikings?

**dont be a dick. theyre mean and are teasing me in a cruel and abusive manner which im pretty sure is against some right somewhere  
some tv thing with lots of violence and porn. think game of thrones but with viking pirates**

I doubt they're torturing you  
Nice, might look into that. Sex and debauchery with pirates sounds decent

**there is so much torture right now  
how do i convince the sasha/connie duo that im not watching porn because if i take a photo of the laptop screen there will most likely be someone attractive and naked wandering around**

Show them you have your jeans on?

**see thats where my problem lies because im mostly naked as well  
i over heat easily and eren has a thing against wearing trousers or pants so we tend to just... not wear much  
shit stays clean longer as well so theres less laundry**

Um well  
I would  
Um... wait until something is exploding?

**good thinking batman  
ok no they didnt believe me  
your plan failed me**

I think the fact that you're, you know, naked? That's where the plan fell down

**i just took a picture of the laptop screen anyway AND im not totally nude  
i have pants on  
and apparently one sock? not sure where the other one went to be honest**

You're a little bonkers, did you know that?

**im a little tipsy actually but bonkers works too  
thats such a good word  
i love english**

I'm going to leave you to that so you can go to sleep, because I can feel this getting weird very quickly

**you love my weird**

Of course I do JJ  
Don't forget to drink water, I'm supposed to meet you at midday remember?

**couldnt forget freckles youre too special to forget :)**

GoodNIGHT Jean

**night freckles**

  
  


  
  


**i apologise for last night, eren was celebrating and we drank more than was probably advisable  
i made him clear up before he went to armins though and made him buy more drinks  
he had a hangover so it was revenge for something i have no doubt he did previously to make him**

That's cruel Jean

**cruel, but funny**

How's your head?

**eh well i think i should be okay in a few hours  
my alarm woke me up, i forgot to turn it off yesterday so ive been up since half 7**

I sleep through alarms that early

**its only like 10 now i didnt even think you would reply**

I'm still in bed, only just woke up. Figured I would check to see if you were still alive and we wouldn't have to cancel because you burnt something down in a alcohol fuelled chemistry experiment

**eren always hides the bleach its fine. we have learnt**

I don't want to know, do I

**nah probably not**

Anyway I'm going to shower  
See you in... two hours!

**ill see you in a bit Freckles  
have fun in the shower**

Oh, I will

**shiiit  
tmi dude tmi**

You love it really

  
  


 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lost the original file due to a corruption so had to re-write it and it got longer and what even

The flat is, even upon a single glance, home to students. It's clean, but there is no lamp shade on the bulb hanging from a duct taped wire from the ceiling, and the living room is home to a series of rather mismatched pieces of furniture. The sofa is a two-seater brown leather monstrosity which sags under its own weight, whilst the armchair next to it is floral-printed and overstuffed to the point where the stitching is breaking to keep itself held together. There used to be a carpet, but it's been worn down to a thin layer of fabric complete with stains of varying sizes and colours, and so instead there is a blindingly green fluffy rug sitting in the centre of the room. Books and papers of all sizes litter a coffee table shoved next to the wall, along with a collection of dirty mugs and cups. A TV buzzes away in the background as the shorter man from the milkshake bar flits around wearing only socks and boxers, nursing a steaming mug of coffee and biting chunks off a piece of toast every few seconds.

Three open doors lead off the main room: one to a sparse bathroom, with just a toilet, sink and shower which doesn't appear to have been designed for people with elbows in mind; one to a box kitchen where all the worktops and cupboards are hot pink; one to a bedroom with two beds pushed against opposite walls. One side of the bedroom is covered in piles of clothes and DVD cases, the walls impossible to see because of the photos of the two boys and a few newer ones including a pretty Asian girl, with a rumpled duvet pulled over the sheet of the bed. Everything is brightly coloured, reds and greens and blues and a blanket the same shade of green as the rug in the living room. The other side is more plain - the duvet is a dark blue, with a pale blue pillow, and they're newly washed, but only the hour before. The duvet is lumpy where it's been shoved inside the cover quickly, and although it's laid out across the bed it isn't tucked under the mattress. A laptop and mobile sit on top, both plugged into a multi-socket in a huge tangle of black wires. Two guitars are propped against the wall, and the doors of the cupboard by the side of the bed don't shut properly with the amount of clothes shoved into it.

The man, Jean, finishes his toast and drains his mug in one swallow, chucking it into the sink without looking. He stops, then turns around and washes it up. He needs the extra mugs.

There's a burst of song from the bedroom, tinny strings followed by a beat drop of heavy drums. Jean scrambles over to his phone and smiles at the screen.

           So I'll be over in... fifteen minutes? Just leaving my house now

**cool**

**im going to order pizza when you get here**

           Nice! I'm looking forward to it :)

**see you in a bit then**

           See you

Jean types out a final reply ( **looking forward to it x** ), then scrunches up his nose in worry and deletes it one letter at a time.

Jean pulls a t-shirt over his head, and takes off his boxers before he wriggles into a pair of jeans that are so tight they're more like a second skin than clothing. He pulls his socks off and picks a bit of dried on dirt off his top, which is black and emblazoned with the words, ‘Patricia the Stripper rocks my world' in neon pink, and a cartoon wombat in the same shade. It's a size too small and hugs all the right places. Flexing into the window, Jean watches his reflection carefully and then nods.

 

He runs his head under the shower in the bathroom and is rubbing a towel over his head, biting his lips over and over again when there's a rap of knuckles on the door. He chucks the towel at the bottom of the shower and pads over to the door.

“Hey, Marco," he drawls when he opens it, leaning on the door frame, “Come in, find a perch." Jean looks Marco up and down, taking in the ripped jeans which are only just clinging to his hips and his leather jacket and the hair curling into his eyes. Marco's eyes trail down from Jean's wet hair to the drops of water rolling down his neck, from his exposed collarbones to his legs. Neither move for a few seconds, then Jean spins on his heels and Marco heads inside. Jean tips his head to the side and watches Marco walk, taking in the sway of his hips and the swell of his arse where a t-shirt about the same size as Jean's rides up his back, revealing an inch of bare skin. His cheeks flare red.

Marco ducks into the living room and turns back to face Jean, smiling with his lip caught between his bottom teeth, the left side quirked higher than the right. Padding over, Jean gestures to the sofa, and falls into the pile of blankets and cushions on it. He pats the space next to him, and Marco sits on the edge, taking off his jacket and folding it onto the arm of the sofa. His hands twist into the bottom of his t-shirt and he looks up with soft eyes at Jean. Jean rolls his eyes and tugs Marco down by the back of his t-shirt in a flailing storm of limbs until he’s been enveloped by the sofa and cushions. 

Reaching a hand down the side of the sofa, Jean grins and says, “What do you want on your pizza?”

Marco startles and then wrinkles his nose in thought. He misses the way the grin falls into a soft smile which Jean hides by standing up and facing away from the sofa with the phone. 

“Ham and pineapple thanks.” 

“Oh, thank fuck you don’t want mushrooms, I would’ve had to throw you out.”

“Devil’s food!”

“Glad you think so, they’re gross. Anyway, I’m getting a meat-feast, if you want some we can share.”

“That sounds great, thanks.”

“Wicked.”

Marco watches as Jean cocks his hip and waves his free hand around as he talks, gesturing and emphasising words with pointed fingers without realising he was doing it. His eyes glaze over as his focus slips from Jean’s hands to the curve of his arse. 

He doesn’t respond to Jean speaking to him instantly. 

“Hey, Marco, it’ll be about twenty minutes so we can make popcorn or something if you want… Freckles? Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Marco’s head snaps up and Jean raises one eyebrow. 

“I said, do you want to make popcorn before we choose a film?”

“Oh- Right, yeah, sure.”

“Cool!” Jean grabs hold of Marco’s wrist, smiling to himself at the pink flush staining Marco’s cheeks. He pulls him up off the sofa and into the kitchen, where he crams them both into the space and gestures to one of the counters. 

“You can perch there, you’ll have more room.”

Marco doesn’t say anything, just hops up and taps a finger on the plastic of the surface. 

“Blame Eren for the colour. He thought it would be funny but all it does is fucking  _ blind  _ everyone. I’ve just got used to it by now.” Jean stretches up to reach the top shelf of the cupboard a little slower than he normally would, rolling his shoulders a little more and using his other arm to balance himself by tensing all the muscles in his upper arm. 

Marco doesn’t reply again. The tapping stops. 

Jean finds the bags of popcorn and chucks two of them into the microwave, humming under his breath as he does, before jumping up onto the counter opposite Marco. Their ankles brush and Marco sings along to the tune of Jean’s humming. 

“ _ But it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes, ‘cause I’m Mr. Brightside! _ ” He laughs at Jean’s wrinkled nose and kicks Jean in the shin.

“Stop!” Jean protests, “It’s just… That was _ awful _ .”

Marco laughs harder and spreads a palm on his chest, breathing in deeply, but Jean stops him by putting his foot on Marco’s hand. 

At Marco’s questioning glance, Jean taps a finger on his own chest. 

“You’re breathing wrong.”

“ _ What _ ?”

Jean slides off the counter and stands in the space between Marco’s legs, which makes up most of the room in the kitchen. 

“When you take in a breath, you shouldn’t expand your chest. You can’t actually increase the amount of air getting into your lungs by that much if you do that. You expand your stomach, flatten your diaphragm, instead. That’s what increases the volume in your abdomen, not moving your ribs, ‘cause they can’t actually move that much. . Then you can push out more air at once and don’t have to sing through your vocal cords, and your voice’ll sound better. Louder.” Jean presses two fingers, gentle and calloused, against the spot he’s talking about, right beneath Marco’s ribs in the centre of his chest. Marco sucks in a sharp breath and Jean snatches his fingers away just as the microwave beeps. “Anyway. Yeah. Popcorn!”

There is silence between them as Jean flits around, pouring the popcorn into bowls and popping open beers for both of them to drink. The doorbell rings and Jean swears, shoves a bottle into Marco’s hand and throws a hasty, “Go sit down, I’ll be right there!” over his shoulder as he heads to the door.

Marco juggles the beers and bowls until he can hold them all under his arms, and sits back down on the sofa. He stacks the beers on the floor and watches Jean chat with the young girl who’s delivering the pizzas. She barely looks old enough to drive and has blue hair pinned up in a bun which is falling into her face, and Jean’s arm is resting on the doorframe and he’s digging around in his back pocket, pulling the material of his jeans down far enough to reveal pale skin and dimples and no  _ pants- _

Marco manages to catch the popcorn bowls when they fall off his lap where he’s leaning too far forwards. He licks his lips and then Jean shuts the door and says, “One ham and pineapple for you, one meat feast for me!” too brightly to be innocent. 

Marco’s eyes narrow, then his frown is replaced by a sunny smile. “Thanks Jean!”

Grunting a “No problem,” in response, Jean hands Marco his pizza box and takes his bowl in the other hand before dumping all his own food on the floor and swinging his legs up onto the sofa. He picks up the remote and flicks on the TV, then turns to settle his legs into Marco’s lap. 

A muffled squeak pushes its way out of Marco’s lungs but Jean doesn’t react and moves his feet until his ankles are nearly resting on top of Marco’s crotch. Marco doesn’t move him off, but leans back to accommodate Jean’s legs. 

“So,” Jean asks, “I know we said Marvel, but what specifically? I have… well, I have anything because none of these are exactly legal anyway.”

“I’m not feeling the Avengers arcs at the moment-”

“Sure you wouldn’t want to feel Captain America?” Jean wiggles his eyebrows and breaks open his pizza, fitting a whole slice into his mouth at once. “‘Is mus’les are i’cre’ible.”

“Swallow, Jean. Don’t want you choking if it’s too large for you.” Jean stills at Marco’s words, then blushes and swallows the pizza. He fiddles with the buttons on the remote and brings up a list of films on the screen. 

“ _ Anyway _ , if you’re not wanting to oogle Steve then I guess we can do Spiderman, Fantastic Four… The X-Men?”

Marco thinks, then nods. “How about the X-Men origin films?”

“Fuck yeah, Charles Xavier.”

There’s silence for a stretch, then Marco nods slowly. “Yeah. He’s hot. Hey… maybe we could watch Deadpool afterwards?”

Jean’s eyebrows knit for a second at the flat tone of Marco’s voice but he nods.

“Yeah, no problem. I haven’t seen it yet so no spoilers!” 

“I would never spoil Deadpool. Do you know, at least ish, what the plot is?” 

“Rebellious good guy blows things up and kills people in violent ways wearing spandex, right?”

“Pretty much sums it up.” Marco takes a slice of his pizza and moans, low and drawn out. “Fuck, this is gorgeous.”

“Yep!” squeaks Jean. “The company makes gorgeous pizzas and you’re always very hot- Their- Their pizzas are always very hot! The pizzas. You know. Are always hot and they taste good. Nice.”

The splutter of laughter Marco tries to contain just makes him snort instead and then they’re both laughing and falling back against each other, nestling deeper into the sofa. Hiding his embarrassment, Jean queues up the films and throws a piece of popcorn at Marco’s head. The popcorn war continues throughout the whole four hours they’re watching the X-Men. 

Marco tries to stuff popcorn down Jean’s jeans, fingertips dragging cool lines across his lower back, and Jean tries to aim his missiles onto the strip of muscle and stomach showing from Marco’s t-shirt riding up his chest to his sternum. They pay very little attention to the films, but when the opening to Deadpool starts, Jean declares a truce. 

“Look, I haven’t- Hey, stop! That tickles! - I haven’t seen this, I want to watch it properly.”

Marco over-exaggerates his pout, then flops his head onto Jean’s shoulder. “Fine!” he sighs, and lies himself across the length of the sofa. “I’ll stop.”

Their popcorn war entangles their limbs together with their twisting and grappling, and Jean’s butt presses up against Marco’s hip, his legs curled up in Marco’s lap, and his arm resting on that strip of warm skin. Both breathe in time, and Jean smiles as he feels Marco’s huffing laughter through his whole body at the bad jokes and innuendoes. 

The friendly, comfortable atmosphere lasts until they reach the sex scenes. 

Jean flinches with every panted breath coming from the screen, and he can feel the blush working its way across Marco’s cheeks where his head is plastered across Jean’s collarbones. 

“Was that-” Jean asks at the end of the montage, “I thought this was a fifteen!?”

“This is a fifteen!” Marco laughs. The wriggling of Marco’s body beneath Jean is electric and Jean bites his lip so hard the flesh turns white. “It’s not like you can see anything important unfortunately, and you wouldn’t even know what was happening if you didn’t already know what pegging is.”

“ _ Unfortunately _ ?” Jean asks, swallowing hard to rid  _ something _ from his throat. 

“Um,” Marco licks his lips and shifts beneath Jean, and Jean scrambles to move his arm off Marco’s lower stomach. “It’s just, Ryan Reynolds is kind of gorgeous. All lean muscle and dirty blonde and those  _ eyes _ . He’s sort of a bit perfect, but as Wade he’s even better because of all the sass and sex and yeah, it’s  _ definitely  _ unfortunate.”

Jean runs a hand through own his hair, pulling at the ends of the last strands left between his fingers and squints at the TV. “I dunno,” he says after a moment, “Guess he’s just not my type.”

“Guess not.” Marco opens his mouth to say something else, but stops and sighs. 

They lapse into silence. For a while, neither moves, but Jean grows restless and begins to shift around. Marco huffs a breath and tries to move his arm out from behind Jean to stop him cutting off the blood supply to his fingers, but they move at the same time and Marco’s fingers come to a rest just above the jut of Jean’s arse. Jean sits bolt upright at the touch and all it does is slide Marco’s fingers lower until he’s cupping the curve of his arse and Jean scrambles off the sofa completely, staring up at Marco from his position sprawled across the floor. 

“I- Freckles, I-” Jean’s face is bright red and Marco sits up as slow as he can, biting his lip and eyebrows pinched into a harsh frown. Running shaking hands through his hair, Jean brings his knees up to his chest and laughs, hoarse and without a trace of real humour. “I have no  _ fucking  _ clue what I’m doing.”

“Neither do I.” says Marco, and the words are soft and mixed with a pain that has Jean looking up into Marco’s face before he realises what he’s doing. 

“We’re a right pair, aren’t we.” It isn’t a question. 

“I guess.” Marco reaches out a hand. Trembling fingers wrap around Marco’s warm palm and Jean climbs back onto the sofa, and the two face each other. Neither lets go of the other’s hand. 

Jean jumps as the smooth jazz of trumpets begins to ring out from the TV, and stares at the screen. 

“ _ Careless  _ fucking  _ Whisper _ ?” he asks. 

“I forgot this was even on.” jokes Marco, but he’s  _ blushing _ and Jean runs the hand not holding Marco’s down his face, dragging at the skin of his cheek. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ even is this film?” 

“Unsubtle?”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

They’re so close to each other that their breaths puff against each other’s skin, and Jean’s pupils are blown out, the iris just a band of not quite gold. A flicker of pink tongue wets Marco’s lips and Jean’s eyes track the movement with a careful precision. Marco’s heart thunders in his chest and Jean can feel his pulse even through the callouses on the pads of his fingers where they’re pressed against the veins on the back of Marco’s hand. 

They move closer, and Marco places his free hand on Jean’s hip, dragging  their chests together. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and Jean nods, just once. Marco lets his eyelids flutter closed and parts his lips a fraction, tilts his head to the right and brushes their mouths together. 

Just once. 


	14. Chapter 14

The first kiss is a caress, gentle and chaste.

Jean’s mouth is mostly closed, dry and warm, and their lips match, top to top and bottom to bottom. It’s a peck, a touch, an inquisitive push.

( _ A squish,  _ they both think, and smile to themselves into the kiss.)

They draw back from each other before they’ve touched for all of a second. Jean’s eyes are wide open, his cheeks flushed red from embarrassment and the few beers they’d had, and he says, dazed, “You taste like pineapple. I fucking love pineapple,”.

Swaying a little, he leans in and kisses Marco again, pulling on Marco’s bottom lip and in a harsh breath  _ Jean kissing Marco _ changes to  _ them kissing _ . They’re sucking and licking and moving in push-pull rhythm. Jean darts small, quick nips at Marco’s lips, slipping a hint of tongue in to gauge Marco’s reaction; Marco is deep, open kisses and welcomes Jean’s tongue, letting their mouths meet and their bodies press into each other.

At first their noses are in the way, but Jean shifts his hands to the rough cut of Marco’s jawline, angling them to fit together better, wetter, hotter, faster and they’re panting into the kisses, slowly tipping over so Marco is on his back under Jean’s weight. After a minute, Marco pulls his head back and mutters, “Je-Jean-. Jean, s-stop a minute-  _ Mmm-mh _ , no, shit, stop.”

Jean scrambles with panic in his eyes to sit up, trying to move off of Marco, but Marco pulls him back down by a hand on the small of his back. Collapsing down so their faces are close again, Marco rolls his eyes.

“ Hey, hey, it’s okay, I liked it, I just. We have to get this - us - sorted first.” He presses a soft kiss onto the end of Jean’s nose.

“ Us?” Jean asks, a hitch in his confidence, and Marco brushes a hand through the short hair at the back of Jean’s neck.

“ You said before that you don’t date guys. I really like you, Jean, and I don’t want to get caught up in some sexual thing that has too many feelings wrapped up into it, and. Well. I’m just making sure.”

There is quiet between them, the TV still playing in the background. Blushing, Jean picks the remote off the floor and switches the screen off, then ducks his head into the jut of Marco’s shoulder.

“ This is really weird,” he says, wavering in an off hand kind of manner, “This. Us. Whatever we are.”

“ We’re a bit unconventional, I have to admit,” Marco nods, and laces their fingers together. He squeezes once and guides Jean higher up his body with soft movements so they’re lined up chest to chest. He is lying completely underneath Jean’s prone body, but the position isn’t uncomfortable. Their limbs fit together like puzzle pieces and beneath the elbows and the thigh between Marco’s legs there’s a slow burning heat which relaxes the two into a softer pile. Their bodies are melted together, liquid and easy.  “We’ve only met twice, you realise.”

“ But some couples talk less than we do, Freckles.”

“ Are we a couple then?”

Jean shrugs and presses butterfly kisses against Marco’s shoulder, mouthing across the bare skin revealed where his t-shirt has slipped down. Laughing, Marco tugs Jean’s hair with his free hand. The whine that escapes Jean’s mouth has both of them silent and still in an instant, and Marco untangles his fingers, careful not to pull or tug the blond locks.

“ No, I mean it,” he says, “Are we? Do you want to be? I can do fuck buddies if you want, but I’d prefer the couple thing.”

“ I…” Jean sits up, hands on Marco’s chest as he looks down at Marco’s face. “I’ve never done this with a dude before. I’ve never done more than kissed a guy. Freckles, the fact I’m basically sitting on your dick is the furthest I’ve ever managed to get!”

“ It’s really not that different from dating girls. But with less boobs in the equation usually.”

“ I’m going to miss boobs.”

“ You want to date me then?”

Jean blushes and chews the inside of his cheek. At Marco’s insistent nod, he raises an eyebrow and gestures between their chests. “Look, I’m sitting on your crotch and I just made out with you. Your tongue has been in my mouth. Our mouths have been more than ‘intimately acquainted’. I invited you ‘round for pizza and we had a discussion for half an hour about the physics of whether or not it’s possible to harness lightning using magnets, which  _ I still reckon we could,  _ just by the way. I kicked Eren out just so I could get to talk to you, not even for sex or anything. I fancy you, you fuckwit, so of fucking course I want to date your stupid fucking face.”

Marco closes his eyes and rests his head on the arm rest, grinning inanely and pulls Jean back down for the second time.

“ You’re so cute and repressed,” he laughs at Jean’s indignant glare, “Want to put your tongue  _ back _ in my mouth?” He pouts obscenely, and Jean licks the splay of his lips in one broad stroke with a shit eating grin. Marco splutters and squeezes Jean’s arse in retaliation. Squeaking, Jean squirms on top of Marco’s hips without thinking.

The hiss of pleasure  _ Marco  _ can’t contain stills them both again. Shocked hazel eyes look down into equally startled brown eyes and Jean’s hands hover uncertainly over Marco’s chest, scant centimetres away from the material of his shirt.

“ Jean,” Marco says, breathless, “Jean, I know you already know this, but you’re basically sitting on my dick.”

“ I am aware, yes.”

“ I’m a gay guy. You are a hot guy.”

“ I know, and thanks.”

“ Are you okay sitting on my dick? Are you going to  _ move _ ?”

“ Nope. I’m comfy here, thanks.” Jean wiggles, and Marco can’t stifle his moan then either. “And yeah, by the way. I wanna my tongue back in your mouth.”

He presses a filthy, wet kiss against Marco’s open lips, tongue skidding slick against Marco’s bottom lip into his mouth, and Marco surges up to meet him.

“ I fucking like you, Freckles,” Jean pants, “You also have nice abs, you know that, right?” He runs his hands under Marco’s t-shirt and pulls it up to his nipples, revealing Marco’s stomach and the trail of thin hair running down his abdomen, which does nothing to hide or disguise the muscle under his skin.

Marco snorts. “You’ve mentioned. More than once.”

“ So what?” Jean breathes, and draws circles into Marco’s skin with his fingers, “Maybe I have a thing for your abs.”

“ I think I liked you better when you were f-  _ fuck _ ,  _ please-  _ fucking  _ quieter _ .”

“ I like you in general. Do you want to go to dinner with me?” Jean punctuates his question with a harsh suck on Marco’s collarbone, pinching and pulling at the skin to leave a purple bruise just big enough to be seen over the hem of Marco’s t-shirt. “No, I know, what about a fake-netflix and chill session again? I think this one is doing really well _. _ ”

“ You,” mutters Marco, tilting his head to give Jean more access to his skin, “You are a fucking knob. I want 5 st-ah! 5 fucking star dining.”

“ Whatever you want, Freckles. Didn’t we plan a trip to the Ritz?”

“ If you don’t  _ shut the fuck up _ and  _ kiss me _ I will take you to the fucking Ritz and throw you out of a  _ fucking windo- _ Mm _ mh _ -” Jean continues to kiss up Marco’s neck to his jawline, nipping at the still teenage shadow of stubble just starting to grow through down the harsh, adult line of bone. It’s a juxtaposition that sends shivers down Jean’s back, just as Marco’s fingers running up and down the curve of his spine do. The sharp kisses to his neck have Marco keening, arching his back and scrabbling at Jean’s sides to bring their hips back into alignment, and he grabs Jean’s arse to do so, which in turn has Jean whining into the space under Marco’s ear.

The noise is mingled with a loud creak from the front door. Both of them bolt upright at the sound, Jean sliding off Marco’s lap and Marco pulling his knees up to hide his growing hardness.

“ Yo, lovebirds, sorry if I cock-blocked your kinky sexploits but I forgot to grab pyjamas, hope you don’t mind!” A bright Yorkshire accent calls out into the flat with exaggerated cheer. Marco frowns when Jean groans in unexaggerated exasperation and the front door slams shut. When a young man bursts into the flat with more enthusiasm than is strictly necessary, complete with jazz hands and an impressive hair toss to brush his long fringe out of his eyes, Jean groans again and throws his wrist over his eyes in an equally melodramatic fashion.

The man doesn’t even try to hide his shit eating grin as he saunters across the living room to the bedroom, twirling a key around his finger without even looking at the pair shell shocked on the sofa.

“ Eren…” Jean growls, and Eren stops and smiles brightly, green eyes gleaming.

“ Aye, love?”

“ Get your pyjamas and  _ get the fuck out.  _ You swore you wouldn’t-”

Eren calls out, “You broke your promise first, Princess, but whatever, I don’t care. Won’t be a second in fact, carry on. It’s not like I haven’t seen you with a boner before.”

Jean hides his red face in the crook of Marco’s knee and swears. Laughing, Marco pats the top of his head until Eren comes back out of the bedroom with a bundle of clothes under his arm. He bends down next to Jean’s ear and pokes him in the shoulder.

“ Hey Jean,” he croons, and Jean looks up to send him a glare that could freeze fire. “Revenge tastes sweeter when I’m the one getting laid instead.”

He saunters off and shuts the door softly behind him. Two people’s laughter echoes from the corridor outside and Jean yells, “Armin, you fucking traitor!” towards the door. The post flap opens and a voice choked with giggles comes through the gap.

“ Sorry, Jean, he made me. And hi, Jean’s boyfriend, Eren says feel free to have sex on the sofa but don’t bang on his bed. Oh, and also Jean keeps condoms in the cupboard under the sink in the bathroom- What? Okay, and um, apparently there’s a dildo in there too. If you’re into that.”

The flap swings shut again and the giggles move away.

Marco waits a moment, still patting the top of Jean’s head, before he says, “Well, that was interesting,” in a tone of voice that drips with compressed amusement.

The only response is low and long sigh against Marco’s thigh. The puff of air sends a wave of goosebumps ricocheting across his skin and he tips his head back, one arm propping his neck up.

“ Jean?” His voices echoes in the flat, too loud.

“ Mmmhmmm?”

“ Can you move your head?”

“ Nope. I died with the mood.”

“ I kinda like this mood.”

“ Preferred the other one though?”

“ Nah, I like cuddles too much. Get your butt up here, Jay-Jay, give us a proper hug.”

Jean raises his head, eyes bleary and hair mussed from Marco’s absent-minded curling and twisting. “What the fuck, Freckles?” But his tone is teasing and fond, and then he’s climbing up to curl into Marco’s side, arms wrapping around one of Marco’s and his thigh covering Marco’s knee. Skin presses into rough denim and more skin in a pile of limbs that neither could separate as  _ Jean’s  _ or  _ Marco’s _ , and they both sigh at the same time, then laugh when Jean’s fingers brush a ticklish spot on Marco’s ribs. They’re tangled up in each other, boyish and comfortable and warm without the tension of only scarce minutes before, and Marco brushes a kiss against the top of Jean’s head where he lays on his chest.

Then there’s the roar of road noise from outside, bleeding through the walls; bird song from the windows, all cracked open just enough to let fresh air inside and nothing else; the dull breathing of two young men, fallen asleep on each other in the golden twilight of spring.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've come to the end! Thanks to everyone who helped me with this monstrosity (Lucia/fujoshichan69, you are a legend and your beta-ing was always great) and for reading. I thought about adding an extra chapter/epilogue, but I like it as it is, so this is it. (I'll probably add another porn oneshot in the verse - 3DMG porn??- so if you're up for that keep an eye on the series tag).


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